Losing Hope -- When is Enough Enough
We’ve all had moments when we’re ready to give up. We’ve prayed and prayed, fervently and with faith, for something or someone, to no avail. And we may have had moments when God’s Spirit has burned within us so strongly, we knew things were going to turn around, our loved ones were finally going to turn to Jesus, our house was going to sell, we were going to get that job. Whatever.
But then the moment passes, and our loved ones are still headed toward self-destruction, the house continues to sit, and the career opportunity we’ve worked so hard for is given to someone else. So what do we do? When is enough enough?
I've had moments where my faith is so strong I’m ready to turn mountains into mole-hills and to command trees to uproot themselves and jump into the sea. But I’ve also allowed my discouragement to turn to anger and apathy.
A while back God gave me just a glimmer of His heart, and it overwhelmed me with sadness mixed with intense longing. I couldn’t stop crying and praying. As I prayed, I listened to Addison Road’s “What Do I know of Holy” over and over. Like OCD over and over. The song drew me, reminding me that there is so much my human mind fails to comprehend. So what do I do? I box God in to what is manageable or understandable. In that moment, God shattered my preconcieved ideas with an intense, overpowering love.
I understood instantly that the pain I was feeling was God’s heart for the person I was praying for. My human love paled in comparison to the gut wrenching emotions that swept over me. And just when I thought I was done praying and ready to get on with my day, it’d hit me again, reigniting my cries to my Holy Father.
I begged God for mercy, for intervention, for nothing short of a miracle. And then I received an email from a fellow writer who had also been called to pray. She relayed to me the words God had spoken to her, and they resonated so deeply, I knew they came from God. And more prayers. An hour later, I received another email from another friend who also felt called to pray. She, too, provided words of affirmation and encouragement. Through out the evening, my email account lit up with confirmation after confirmation that I was not, was not, was not to give up. Whether it took a week, a month, a year, or even decades.
So again I ask, when is enough enough?
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