Coping When You are Left Out
Kelly Balarie, blogger at Purposeful Faith and author of the new book Rest Now: 7 Ways To Say No, Set Boundaries and Seize Joy is passionate about joining hands with women who often find…More
- 2016 Apr 28
Everywhere I have been there has always seemed to be an "in" club. There has always been an exclusive group of women who seemed to have it better than me.
When I was in middle school, I can remember all the girls faces. They pulled together like a band of linked BFF necklaces. They were unbreakable, together and unified. I was not part of it.
While they laughed, skipped and played - I always hoped to be seen.
While they hung out at one area of the pool - I was on the other.
While they whispered funny jokes - I wondered if they were talking about me?
I was left out.
Even growing up, I keep on seeing these "in" clubs...
At work, there was the "powerful group", these were the people you really couldn't talk to if you didn't have a certain title.
Around town, I see groups of people congregating based on money or intellect and the many who pine to be a part.
In writing, there is the "made-author" group, these are normally the untouchable women via email or social media because they have "people" who take care of that.
I was in the dark, they were in the light.
They were center stage, I was in the back row, breaking my neck to see.
They were fun-and-games, big lights and cameras, I was alone.
Somehow it always felt like I was in the back row and they were in the front.
It always felt like I had no decision, that I was just left out.
Have you ever felt this way? Excluded?
But when you are invited, take the lowest place, so that when your host comes, he will say to you, 'Friend, move up to a better place.' Then you will be honored in the presence of all the other guests. Jo. 14:10
What if God has placed us in the lower seat,
so we have the privilege of seeing him use us there?
What if, over time, he uses that exact seat to give us a view of life
that those at the higher seat can't observe?
God says, that what we consider our detested seat, becomes our honored seat.
I don't want to hate what he loves.
I can't help but think of how he grows a person as they sit down low and in the center of "abandoned"...
He looks at them and says:
You don't need other people, you just need me. You don't need status, you just need my righteousness. You don't need looks, wealth, intellect or ability, you just need my purity. I didn't seat you high, because where I can best mold you and make you is when you are low. Then, I can dig my hands in deep and let them recreate the best you, the you that is truly made in my image. So, keep not your eyes on things or fads, that will come and go, but keep your eyes on me, for I will last forever. And, forever we will go. I love you child and in my club, you will forever reside.
The lower we go, the higher our view of God.
We must decide.
Will we spend our life crying that we sit low,
or in peace,
as we remember that God never fails to bring his loved ones high,
in due time?
Whether on earth or in heaven, at the proper time, we will be exalted.
We will be exalted to glories unexplainable,
to words unspeakable,
to life unknowable,
to hope unbreakable,
to peace unfathomable,
to community unparalleled,
to love unsurpassed.
And we will know, we have just uncovered the seat that has been waiting for us all along.