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Nicki Koziarz Christian Blog and Commentary

The Un-Threatened Woman

  • Nicki Koziarz


    Nicki Koziarz is a speaker, writer, and leader in today's generation. She lives just outside of Charlotte, NC with her husband and their three girls. As a leader and speaker, Nicki is willing to tackle the hard issues this generation is facing to encourage the pursuit of God's Truth in their lives. She is on staff at Proverbs 31 Ministries as the coordinator for their online Bible studies. Nicki speaks nationally for retreats, conferences, events and MOPS groups. For more information on having Nicki for your next event you can email her at: Visit Nicki's site at:

  • 2013 May 15
  • Comments

Deep within all of our hearts is a longing to be valued at what we do. So it’s easy to understand why we frequently enter into the game of comparison in our minds.

And we all know comparison isn’t something we should do. But let’s face it; we are going to compare. And maybe a little comparison isn’t so bad.

When comparison starts to ruin us though is when we begin feeling like other’s gifts, talents and abilities somehow threaten us.

I saw this the other day in one of my daughter’s…

She was working super hard on a project but there seemed to be another girl who always did everything better than her. And my daughter found herself in a pool of tears of frustration feeling like she’d never measure up to this girl.

Several valuable moments of her day were wasted while she compared her abilities to this girl.

But this isn’t something just young girls wrestle through.

And if we don’t recognize the feeling of being threatened while comparing, the wasted moments can turn into days, then weeks, then months and years.

Yes, there’s a longing to be the best at the things we work hard for.

However, we must somehow accept that in the process of developing our gifts, talents and abilities there is always going to be someone who can do what we do better.

And I believe for every woman who struggles with comparison, there’s a woman deeper within us:

The Un-Threatened Woman 

She is the woman who allows the gifts, talents and abilities of others to inspire her; not conspire against her.

She is the woman who stays in a posture of learning.

She is the woman who consistently cheers others on. 

She is the woman who works hard at whatever she does.

And then one day,

She is the woman who has found her beautiful, unique and powerful rhythm. Her gifts, talents and abilities are able to fully develop because her time has been well spent.

Friend, I want to be this woman. And while I will continue to struggle through comparison, today I won't let feelings of being threatened waste my time. I'm finding such power in this:

“Do not, therefore, fling away your fearless confidence, for it carries a great and glorious compensation of reward.For you have need of steadfast patience and endurance, so that you may perform and fully accomplish the will of God, and thus receive and carry away [and enjoy to the full] what is promised.” -Hebrews 10:35

What about you?

Do you struggle with not letting comparison threaten you? I'd love to hear your thoughts on this in the comments today...