January 26, 2022
Time to Let Go
by Cherrilynn Bisbano
No, my lord, I am a woman troubled in spirit. I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but I have been pouring out my soul before the Lord. 1 Samuel 1:15 ESV
My adult son needed restoration physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I begged God daily to help Michael overcome his challenges. I’d cry myself to sleep worrying about his future. After many phone calls and website searches, we found another place to hopefully help my cherished boy. But could I handle having him so far away—800 miles from home?
I needed to let go and allow God to work in my son through this program, even though he had tried two others. We removed Michael from one and he was asked to leave another due to his lack of impulse control. I had the habit of rescuing my son from difficult places because of his autism and ADHD.
Now, with this program as our last hope, I prayed the staff would understand my autistic son and work with him.
Three days after I dropped off Michael, I walked and listened to an audiobook on living a life for Christ. The narrator told a story about a young boy who found a caterpillar and brought it home, where his mother placed it in a jar with leaves.
The boy watched the caterpillar weave a chrysalis. He observed it every day for a week, until he saw the cocoon move. Realizing the creature was struggling, he ran to get scissors, which soon revealed a wet butterfly. The boy watched the insect struggle to fly—then die.
The Holy Spirit was loud and clear. If you rescue your son from this program he will be just like the butterfly. He will die.
I shut off the audio book and cried. “Lord, I commit him to your care. You must help me be strong.”
I had studied butterflies in the past. I knew they needed to battle to free themselves from the darkness. The fight strengthens their wings to fly.
The next day I received a call from Michael. He was hysterical, saying, “Mom, you have to come get me. I have bug bites all over me, and I’m allergic. I hate this place. People are mean. I don’t feel safe. I’ll run away if you don’t come for me.”
I’d never heard him so frantic. I cried, yet I remembered what the Holy Spirit had communicated to me the previous day.
“Michael, I love you. I’m sorry you are going through this. Give me until tomorrow to figure this out.”
I sobbed. Lord you need to help them help my son. I want to take him in my arms and make it all better, but I can’t. It will kill him spiritually. Help him Lord!
That afternoon I shared what the Spirit had told me with a leader from the facility, who said, “I’ll speak with Michael and share this with him.”
The leader called an hour later, saying, “Michael is fine now. He had a fit, and now understands this is his home for the next year.”
I praised God and cried happy tears. I realized Michael belongs to God.
I continue to pray boldly for my son and those he journeys with through the program. Michael has been there for three months now, and I see a remarkable change in him already. My mama's heart misses him, but he's in the safest place—the will and hand of God!
Just like God heard Hannah’s prayer, he hears mine.
This article is brought to you by the Advanced Writers and Speakers Association (AWSA).
About the author: Cherrilynn Bisbano is an award-winning writer in both fiction and non-fiction. She is a coach, ghostwriter, editor, and speaker. You can find her published in several online magazines and blogs along with books. Her latest book, Shine Don’t Whine, released in October 2020. Cherrilynn proudly served in the Navy and Air National Guard. She lives with her son, Michael, Jr., and husband of 22 years. Cherrilynn loves Christ, Chocolate, coffee, and Cats. You will often find her on the beach sea glass hunting.
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