A Broken Hallelujah: Why Does it Always Have to be About His Glory?
by Elizabeth Eno, Guest Writer
What sorrow awaits those who argue with their Creator. Does a clay pot argue with its maker? Does the clay dispute with the one who shapes it, saying, ‘Stop, you’re doing it wrong!’ Does the pot exclaim, ‘How clumsy can you be?’ -Isaiah 45:9
I would not be completely honest if I did not share some of the anger and frustration I have felt along our journey of losing our daughter, Promise, through late-term miscarriage. I used my journal to pour out those feelings and try to process them through the grid of my faith. From my journal:
I remember leaving the hospital, stopping to get gas, and thinking, “Why does this have to be OUR story? I thought we were the ones who had infertility issues and a few other ‘hard’ things that are part of who we are. Why does miscarriage ALSO have to be a part of it – I thought that was for other people…?”
I resented it. I hated it. I did not want to grow in the knowledge of this topic or endure what we had to go through just so that I could somehow comfort others down the road.
When I was in the car by myself or in the shower, I clenched up and screamed:
“WHY DOES IT ALWAYS HAVE TO BE ABOUT GOD’S GLORY?”
I wanted to run from that truth, but I absolutely could not.
I thought about God, and who He is, and what He has done. He made the world. He made me. He made my family. He gave me an education and a job. He gave me my husband, Jason. He gave us our daughter Lily, and He gave us our daughter Promise.
And, he took Promise away.
So now, all of a sudden I begin to question His work?
“What sorrow awaits those who argue with their Creator. Does a clay pot argue with its maker? Does the clay dispute with the one who shapes it, saying, ‘Stop, you’re doing it wrong!’ Does the pot exclaim, ‘How clumsy can you be?’ -Isaiah 45:9
There is a tension between what I know is right, and the resistance I feel when pain is part of what I know is right.
The truth: God is good. His plans are perfect. His glory is the most important thing.
The truth: God has my best interests in mind. These are often not the same as what I think they could, or should be.
Our pastor recently said: God will not save you from the pain, but He will save you through it. Ultimately, God saves us through the pain that Jesus endured for us on the cross. And yet, because Jesus was fully human while He was fully God…He did ask His Father, God if there was another way. But in the end, Jesus trusted His Father, knowing that His glory was most important and that others would actually live forever because of His death on the cross.
As I continued to wrestle with God’s glory being the primary purpose of what we had gone through, I re-read the two verses we printed on the funeral service bulletin for Promise. We chose her name based on these verses, and because we knew that when we remembered Promise, we wanted to also remember and be comforted by the promises of God.
What I did not realize until a few weeks later is that both of these verses also mention God’s glory. There really is no escaping it!
And because of His glory and excellence, He has given us great and precious promises. -2 Peter 1:4
For all the promises of God find their Yes in Him. That is why it is through Him that we utter our Amen to God for His glory. -2 Corinthians 1:20
It is because of His glory that He gave us our daughter Promise. It is for His glory that we can and give her back to Him because we know all things are for His glory, we can respond in worship by saying Amen – or YES, to all of God’s plans and purposes, even those wrapped up in the life and death of our daughter, Promise.
In what area are you questioning God’s work in your life? Where are you screaming, “Why?” In what relationship or situation do you resist the fact that it exists for His glory? Think about God for a minute. Think about who He is. He created the world. He made you. He sent His son to die so that you could live peacefully in Heaven eternally and also joyfully in this life now.
Take your journal or a piece of paper and at the top write, “Things I am thankful for.” Then, write down one thing, and then another. Do this every day for...the rest of your life. You won’t be able to help but be thankful, and out of a thankful heart comes a joyful attitude.
Lastly, ask the Lord to humble your frustrated spirit, and to remind you of who He is, and who you are. Ask Him to help you remember that He is doing all things well and for His glory.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Elizabeth Eno has worked for Wycliffe Bible Translators since 2004. She initially lived in South Asia facilitating Chronological Bible storytelling projects for more than 18 Bibleless people groups. Today, Elizabeth serves as Wycliffe's Volunteer & Intern Placement Team Leader. Elizabeth currently lives in Florida with her husband, Jason, and their 18-month-old daughter, Lily. In her free time, Elizabeth enjoys being with her family and especially likes watching Lily learn and experience the world for the first time! Elizabeth writes periodically at www.elizabethstories.blogspot.com. Elizabeth's writings about her infertility and miscarriage journey can be found here: www.itisaprocess.wordpress.com.
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