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Discover the Book - Nov. 17, 2007

  • 2007 Nov 17

Grace-Energized-Wives Love Their Husbands

Part 2 continued from November 16th


Women energized by grace live like holy servants of God. 


v. 3b “not slanderers” (2) Women energized by grace guard their tongues. 


Godly Titus two women never are to surrender their tongues to the devil. They are prompted by the Holy Spirit to make sure that what they say is absolutely true, honest, just, pure, lovely, and of good report before they say it—lest they discredit their ministry effectiveness as a godly Titus two woman.


They think first: before starting to say something, pause a few seconds and ask if these words are pleasing to God. They also talk less, making each a time to speak as Peter said, speaking as the oracles of God. And they start that practice now. Don't waste your greatest tool.  


Women energized by grace live like holy servants of God and guard their tongues. 


v. 3c “not given to much wine” (3) Women energized by grace are not enslaved to anything but Christ. 


Godly women are Spirit-controlled in every part of their life. They resist excess in any area of daily life. They are not slaves to any substance, to any amusement, to any fashion, or to any attitude that does not please their Master in Heaven. 


Women energized by grace live like holy servants of God, guard their tongues—and women energized by grace are not enslaved to any lust. 


v. 3d “teachers of good things” (4) Women energized by grace have visible integrity. 

Titus Two women have spiritual integrity--godly women live what they teach. They train others in the pattern they have learned. Their walk speaks louder than their talk.  


These godly older women were noble in everything and in the way they lived life they taught by their actions what is good!  


Women energized by grace live like holy servants of God, guard their tongues, are not enslaved to any lust —and women energized by grace have visible integrity. 


v.4a “that they admonish” (5) Women energized by grace are earnest mentors. 


This one word is variously rendered into four different English words by the top four versions: “teach” (KJV); “admonish” (NKJV); “train” (NIV); and “encourage” (NAS). The context and the word imply that this was to be a process of teaching, explaining, encouraging, training, and holding the young wives to a standard that was unfamiliar to them and yet vital for the success of their marriages and families. 


One of the strongest forces for spiritual ministry in the local church lies with the older believers. Those who are retired have time for service. It is vital that we mobilize and use these important people. In my own 30 years of pastoral ministry, I have been constantly helped and encouraged by godly older saints who knew how to pray, teach God's Word, visit, troubleshoot, and help edify Christ's church.


Women energized by grace live like holy servants of God, guard their tongues, are not enslaved to any lust , have visible integrity—and women energized by grace become earnest mentors of younger women. 


v. 4b “the young women to love their husbands” (6) Women energized by grace love their husbands. 

A Christian home in a pagan culture was a radically new thing. 


Young women saved out of paganism needed to get accustomed to a whole new set of priorities and privileges; and those who had unsaved husbands would need special encouragement.  

The Titus two models had the responsibility of training the younger women how to be successful wives, mothers, and housekeepers; and the younger women had the responsibility of listening and obeying.  


Among the Bible-believing women of the first century, there was a big challenge in “loving” their husbands. For various reasons and in various degrees those women found themselves with either minimal or no “feelings of love” for their husbands.  


Those believing wives in the early church, like those today, almost always want to obey the Lord, thus they submit and fulfill their responsibilities to their husbands—but often only dutifully and not lovingly. It’s not just that loving your husband is a virtue; Paul says that not loving him in a way that he can feel is a sin


The key to understanding this bold new dimension of the early church’s training is in the word Paul uses for love. Every believer has already repeatedly been commanded to “love” with agape love which is an action. We are commanded to act in a loving way towards each other, our saved and unsaved friends, and even our enemies. This agape love is not a feeling, it is an action. Paul explains agape love in Ephesians 5:25 and Colossians 3:19 as a husband acting towards his wife in the same self-sacrificial way as Jesus loving the church. 


Women were also commanded to obediently submit respectfully to their own husbands (Eph. 5:22; Col. 3:18). Peter adds that they were to cultivate a gentle and quiet spirit that was beautiful to God and of immense value in the marriage (I Peter 3:4). This was the reciprocal relationship of a godly marriage on a behavioral level. The commanded attitudes and behavior of believers in marriage is the foundation and the formula for a Christian marriage. But soon it gets back to dutiful, obedient, often unemotional, and detached relationships. So Paul says that it was imperative to go further. Titus is given the key to flourishing marriages and homes—train the younger women in how to cultivate a loving friendship (phileo) with their husbands. This is emotional love.  


Agape love is never used in the Bible to describe sexual love or responsibility because emotional love can’t be commanded. The beautiful, intoxicating love that God designed for marriages to have sexually is emotional and those emotions can’t be commanded.  


We can’t make someone feel a certain way; we can command them to “do” something but not “feel” a certain way. Genuine, Biblical, marital, sexual love is emotional intimacy in the highest degree. God commands willful, agape love; but the emotional phileo love of friendship and sexual intimacy can’t be commanded—it must be learned. 


When the younger women saw how the older women loved, respected, admired, and were best friends with their husbands, they were drawn to see that close and intimate friendships with husbands were possible and very profitable for daily life. They learned how to encourage their own husband, how to build him up, how to surprise him with their affections, and how to cultivate a life-long growing and deepening friendship. What was the first lesson Paul asks to be taught to the younger women? 


One word in the Greek text, philandrois is translated “love their husbands.” It means to be a woman totally devoted to one’s husband. Some women say that their husbands are no longer lovable; but having that attitude is disobedience to the clear Word of God. 


To help your attitude, keep in mind that loving your husband doesn’t mean you’ll always feel the rush of emotion that characterized your love at the beginning of your relationship. Marriage is a contented commitment that goes beyond feelings to a devotedness—to a level of friendship that is deep and satisfying.  


If you don’t love your husband, you need to train yourself to love him. Serve him kindly and graciously day by day and soon you will make such a great investment in him, you will say to yourself, I’ve put too much of myself into this guy not to love him! It is a sin to disobey this command. [2] 


The best way to fill a home with joy and peace is to have a husband and wife who are best friends--intimately, emotionally, and spiritually. 


In Paul’s day, men and women were saved out of a culture where romantic love usually did not exist in marriages. Wives were only seen as the trusted keepers of the home and bearers of the children. Emotional love, psychological needs, and sexual desires were satisfied outside of marriage by most husbands. The opportunities for illicit sex in the Roman world were endless.  


This sermon will conclude tomorrow November 18th as we start by looking at women in the Roman world.

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