“Wisdom and power belong to God. Advice and understanding also belong to him.” - Job 12:13
As I looked around the room I see Lori, her wig is crooked and she has a nine-year-old and is losing her battle with cervical cancer. To her left is Paul, he has pancreatic cancer and his wife Evelyn who will lose her partner after forty-seven years in four weeks. To her left is Beth, she just had a lumpectomy, lost her left breast and is beginning a chemo regime.
By contrast there is Michelle, supremely visible. Outwardly perfect she is flanked by her two perfect girl friends. Their perfect world, perfect nails and perfect make up suggest all is very well. But Michelle’s insides betray her outsides. Blond and beautiful on the outside but bellicose and bitter on the inside, she’s losing her fight with aggressive breast cancer. Her trip to Japan to explore experimental therapies was a failure and she’s back in Orange County. In this room the big C is defeating OC.
I was twenty nine years old a seminary student assigned to a clinical pastoral position in an oncology unit one evening a week. To describe this time as a defining moment in life cheapens the real impact it made on me. God put his glasses of reality on me. A cancer support group was God’s agent of new meaning and purpose in my life. I didn’t like his choice, but His goal is to refine me. He decided that this was the kind of reality that I needed to get clear on what was best for me.
Lord Jesus, I want your dream for my life. Help me to realize you’re God and I’m not. Father, place your glasses on me, make me the man you want me to be.