New Life, Steve Arterburn Daily Devotionals

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New Life Daily Devotion - November 18

  • 2021 Nov 18

The Perfect-Mate Myth

For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. - Romans 3:23

Many of us have fallen for what I call the “Perfect-Mate Myth.” This Myth applies to single and married people, and goes something like this: “If I just had the right woman (or the right man), my life would be all right.”

Let me be blunt: this belief is incredibly ignorant. First, because it assumes that our problems are all external—that our real problem is an imperfect spouse, or the lack thereof. Second, because it assumes that there’s such a thing as a “perfect” spouse.

This delusion keeps us from spiritual maturity. It prevents married men and women from doing the hard work and making the commitment necessary to build and repair their relationship with their spouses. And it tempts single men and women to put their lives on hold until that “perfect” mate appears.

The perfect mate myth is an unhealthy fantasy. Focus your attention on your relationship with God. He wants your attitude to be, “I’m in this for the long haul. I’m going to dedicate myself to and work at making this marriage last.” This is how an active and true faith comes alive in a marriage.

Similarly, God wants the attitude of every single person to be, “God, I’m yours, with or without a spouse, and I will focus my attention on my relationship with you.”

Remember, whatever your situation, God is sufficient to meet your needs. 

“Trifles make perfection, but perfection is no trifle.” Michelangelo (1475-1564)


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Taken from The Life Recovery Devotional: Thirty Meditations from Scripture for Each Step in Recovery by Stephen Arterburn and David Stoop. Copyright © 1991 by Stephen Arterburn and David Stoop. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved.

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