Crosswalk.com aims to offer the most compelling biblically-based content to Christians on their walk with Jesus. Crosswalk.com is your online destination for all areas of Christian Living – faith, family, fun, and community. Each category is further divided into areas important to you and your Christian faith including Bible study, daily devotions, marriage, parenting, movie reviews, music, news, and more.

Intersection of Life and Faith

<< She Seeks

She Seeks - Week of January 24

  • 2011 Jan 24

{don't define me.}

{an inspirational entry about redefining}

A few weeks ago my friend Ashley and I went to see the movie, You Again.

In case you haven't seen it, let me recap.

Ten years after high-school graduation, a former geek, Marni [think: braces, glasses, pimples, mismatched clothes] learns that her worst nightmare is about to come true. Her brother is about to marry her high-school bully and biggest rival, Johanna [think: beautiful, cheerleader, snob].

In the days leading up to the wedding it becomes the nice girl versus mean girl battle, as Marni tries everything she can to break up their impending marriage.

Though it looks like Johanna is going to win the prize of her man, a few clips from the senior year time capsule and a toast from an old boyfriend at the rehearsal dinner has her fiancée/Marni's brother calling off the wedding.

Marni seems to have succeeded to break them up.

But after all the drama she created settles in, Marni realizes what a mistake she has made because of the pain she has caused. The last few scenes of the movie she does everything she can to repair the damage she caused. Marni and Johanna have a heart-felt moment as they both discover the truth that they are not the person they once were. And in true Hollywood fashion, everyone ends up at the altar with a happy ending.

I know it's just a movie, but I'm not sure it's very far off from what a painful past can do to our lives.

I see this happen too much in the lives of women. It only takes a small trigger to send us back to that place we so long to forget. Before we know it, we are angry, bitter and crazed — trying to prove to the world that we are not the person we once were.

But please hear this: Your past does not define you and your history is not your destiny.

It took me years to fully grasp that statement of truth. Every time I would run into someone from my past my heart would sink. Sometimes they left my life at a time and place in my story when it was all ugly, broken and just a big mess. Often they didn't get to see what God brought me through and how He turned it all around. Knowing this left me desperately wanting to prove to them that I was not who I once was.

But the truth is, I can't define myself how other people see me. The only definition I can rely on is how God sees me. Yes, our God is in the redefining business...that is for sure.

So today, maybe you need to wrap that spiritual truth around your heart. Hold it there tightly and don't let anyone tell you differently. Stop feeling the need to prove to anyone who you are today. Instead, rely on the fact that the One who knows you best, only defines you in terms of His love.


"The king is enthralled by your beauty" — Psalm 45:11

"Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow." &mdash Psalm 51:7

Do you think I'm beautiful? - Angela Thomas

Nicki Koziarz is a woman who is trying to live out destiny despite her past. She blogs at www.nickikoziarz.com and would love for you to continue this discussion on her blog this week.

Check in with Nicki over at She Seeks.

© 2010 by Nicki Koziarz. All rights reserved. 

A Division of Proverbs 31 Ministries


Follow Crosswalk.com