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Then & Now - Week of February 9

  • 2009 Feb 09

Why You Shouldn't Date an Unbeliever - Part 1
1 Kings 11:4

I remember the feeling. I was in high school and like all teenage guys I was definitely looking for a girlfriend. Of course I said all the right things, "I'm just here to serve God. I don't want a girlfriend. I'm trusting that God will provide me one in his timing."

But, c'mon, I was sixteen and I really wanted a girlfriend That's when I met a girl we will call Brooke. Brooke was 16, had a very nice personality, and seemed to get along with me well. She had everything I was looking for.

Well, except for one sort of major thing. She wasn't a Christian. She talked about religion and God and was a very good person, but she wasn't a Christian.

For a couple of weeks I wrestled with God. I tried every which way to make it work. I used a lot of really good spiritual ideas like, "I'm going to win her to the Lord. Or if I'm nice to her, maybe she'll become a believer." But I something deep inside of me said that it wasn't right.

There is reason God says to us in the Bible that we shouldn't date unbelievers. Its not because God wants to shut off 2/3 of those available. Its because God wants us to have the best. He wants us to experience the blessing of two people walking hand-in-hand with their God.

Solomon, who was the wisest man in the world, made a pretty foolish mistake when it came to girls. Not only did he have like 999 wives too many, but he married unbelievers. And the Scripture says that they turned his heart away from God. Imagine the son of David, who was a man after God's own heart, worshipping idols of stone?

Solomon didn't think it could happen, but it did because he allowed his affections for unbelievers to get in the way of his relationship with God.

Please, please don't make this mistake. I've talked to way too many husbands and wives who wish they would have married a believer.

Right now you're a teenager and it seems like no big deal. You say, Well, we're really not dating, we're just friends. But who has control of your heart?

God—or that attractive, nice, personable unbeliever?

Daniel Darling is an author and pastor with a passion for young people. He is the author of Teen People of the Bible, a 100-day devotional for teens. Visit him on Facebook by clicking here, or at

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