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Home Schooling and Healthy Marriages

  • Zan Tyler Editor of the HomeSchool Channel
  • 2002 30 Jul
Home Schooling and Healthy Marriages

This e-mail from Karen contains great back-to-school advice. She is responding to the article I wrote entitled "Should I Home School Again Next Year: 10 Helpful Steps." One of the most important points I think she makes is to guard our relationships with our husbands in the midst of the very great demands of home schooling.

I would love to have your feedback on this issue. How have you maintained a rich, vibrant marriage in the midst of home schooling? Please e-mail me your suggestions at And let me know if I have permission to publish your response. Thanks!

Dear Zan,
I really appreciate your comments about taking time to seek the Lord about your new (school) year. We have actually done this. Not in the "sit down, pray, and wait for the answer" way; but first, as you pointed out, reminding ourselves "why we home school." Then we evaluate what we didn't like about our year, how we can improve, how we can help our children in their weak areas as well as their strong areas--realizing that those strong areas need to be tempered with a humble perspective and with the proper view of Who gave the strengths in the first place.
"He leads me beside still water; He restores my soul. He leads me in paths of righteousness for His Name's sake." Psalm 23 (RSV)
I had set down certain things that we felt were important to our family for our next school year. I really got a "sense" from the Lord not to over-commit myself. We decided that we shouldn't be out more than one day a week. To my surprise, I was pregnant (I was schooling 3 out of 4 children) and the schedule that I laid out was such a blessing--a stress reliever. I believe that when we ask the Lord to direct us, we have to believe that He will.
"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives to all men generously and without reproaching, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways, will receive anything from the Lord."
James 1:5-8 (RSV)
One other thing that I think is vitally important, is that in all our decision-making we don't forget our husbands. Instead of basing my decisions on my children and their needs, I have been basing my decisions on what my husband's vision is and his work schedule and his needs. I make it a priority to find out what he needs me to do on any given day, before I do anything with school.

It is important not to forget that our husbands are just as much a part of what we are doing. I am the "home manager;" he is the "work manager". He is trusting me to take care of this part of our life together and not to neglect our relationship.

I am concerned that many moms have become idolatrous in their view of home schooling and/or their children, to the neglect of their relationships with their husbands, who should be their best friends.

These are just some of my other thoughts.
Thank you for the wonderful encouragements!
God Bless,