Don't Be Afraid to Talk About Miscarriage

Jim Daly

Posted by Jim_Daly Feb 9, 2012




Her name is Yeva Esther Shaw. I never met her, but I will one day. I’m sure of it.

Hopefully you will, too.

She was a beautiful girl, perfect in every way, not a care in the world. Her parents had such dreams for her, even as dad wondered if he might measure up to the privilege of raising a daughter.

After all, that’s just what good dads do, isn’t it?

But then came the signs and the uneasy feelings. Something wasn’t right.

It couldn’t be happening, could it?

Nervous searching online for clues only raised their level of anxiety. A call and a trip to the doctor followed. And then came the sad confirmation they feared most of all.

“An Angel in the book of life wrote down our baby’s birth,” penned one grieving mother, “and whispered as she turned the page, ‘Too beautiful for earth.’”

Indeed, we may have our dreams, but it’s God who holds the direction and destiny of our days.

Yeva is the daughter of two of my colleagues here at Focus, Ashley and Rajeev Shaw. Our hearts ache for their loss. Yet, we pray with peace and assurance knowing that the Lord is close to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18).

Pregnancy loss is one of those topics that most people shy away from talking about because one, it’s just so sad and two, admittedly, it can be an awkward matter to discuss.

But just because something is difficult to discuss doesn’t mean you shouldn’t broach the topic with a woman or man who is hurting over it.

As Ashley wrote to her teammates (and has given me permission to share with you):

Please feel free to speak to us about the miscarriage. I know it’s not easy. But we don’t want to hide the fact that we have a daughter and that she’s in heaven. I know some parents would rather keep things like this private, which is understandable, but we want to honor our daughter by letting people know about her.

Isn’t that beautiful?

As another mother who suffered a loss once reflected,

The mention of my child's name may bring tears to my eyes, but it never fails to bring music to my ears. If you are really my friend, let me hear the beautiful music of his name. It soothes my broken heart and sings to my soul.

This is where life is really lived, where the challenges and grittiness of the world’s imperfections grab your heart and just won’t let go.

If you know someone who has just miscarried and suffered a sudden loss of a child, don’t be afraid to talk with them about it. If that someone is you, I hope you might permit us the privilege of ministering to you and your loved ones. We care about you and your grief. Our counselors are available to talk. Please consider giving us a call or visiting this page to access some helpful resources.

Don’t be afraid to talk about the children such as Yeva who now live and sing with the angels in Glory.

Follow me on Twitter @Dalyfocus

Follow me on Facebook

Keep up with Focus on the Family on Facebook