Have you ever had that pull on your heart? That ache that tells you that something is not quite right? The persistent call that tells you that you have messed up yet again? The one that makes you ask, “Why can’t I be better?”
It’s a feeling of shame, mixed with regret, all combined with a ton of guilt.
I hate these feelings sometimes. Even worse, I hate how I feel when I am not sure what I should do. I hate not knowing if I will ever “be better”, “do better” and “love better”. I hate feeling like I will never get it quite right. I hate feeling afraid to take the risk to go “there”.
Sin weighs me down. It crushes a spirit. It burdens a heart. It stifles a purpose.
Sin comes and:
- It laughs at us.
- It makes us afraid.
- It shames us.
- It makes us uncertain.
- It tells us, “why bother?”
- It condemns us.
- It defines us.
- It confirms we can never change.
- It makes us self conscious.
- It covers us in chains.
- It discourages us.
- It attempts to hold us back from our purpose.
- It doesn't leave our side.
- It steals peace.
- It embarrasses us.
- It robs us of joy.
- It lies.
- It hurts.
- It lasts.
- It scars.
It knocks on the doors of our lives attempting to lure us. It stands ready to rob us. And after it does, it leaves us injured, broken and lying on the floor unsure what to do next.
But it is in this place of vulnerable pain where our hurts drive us to admission. It is in this place where we have to take a risk. Where we have to step out of our comfort zone.
And, it is in this exact place where God is best seen. This is where we see him from an authentic, open and receptive heart. And, when we come to God, he heals and binds up our pain better than we could have ever imagined.
When we confess, and move towards God through changed actions, he comes to us – and we come to him.
And he says:
- I forgive you.
- I love you.
- I will embrace you.
- You are my workmanship.
- Your actions don’t disqualify my plans.
- Your sin doesn’t mean you can’t win.
- Your ways don’t supersede my ways.
- I am more successful than your failures.
- My grace extends further than your guilt.
- I live inside of you. I can’t give up on myself.
- You are more than a conqueror because of Christ Jesus.
- You are my work-in-progress.
Do you believe me?
If so, let it go. As far as the east is from the west. Let. It. Go.
Watch me work.
I can change you.
I am perfecting the beauty that is “me” within you.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28)
…as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. (Psalm 103:12)