As a culture, we detest being ugly. Countless hours and millions of dollars are spent on the pursuit of beaut every day. We fix our hair, choose clothing, purchase gym memberships, diet plans and more, just to attain a level of physical beauty. We are drawn to beauty, and there is a longing within us to be beautiful.
My own journey of beauty has been quite messy. During my elementary years, I pretended that beauty didn’t matter. I was a tomboy, overweight, had glasses, and was cast in the shadow of my skinny, cute older sister. As a young teen, I began to learn the art of beautifying myself with the tools available. I took on some unhealthy eating patterns, just to be affirmed in beauty. As a young wife/mother, I strove to maintain beauty to hopefully hold on to my value (as well as my husband). Knowing I was beautiful always seemed to be out of my reach.
Freedom from the Beauty Trap
I was at my lowest point; my husband had left, and I was once again left vulnerable to the lies that thundered through my mind. I was marked by a life of rejection, abandonment, and now the scarlet letter of D(ivorce). Scarred for life, I felt like the woman at the well, or the woman caught in adultery. No one would ever think I was beautiful again. Even as a believer, I longed to know I was beautiful. I sought for the affirmation, then hated myself for wanting it so badly. I cried out with Paul, “O wretched man that I am...” No matter how much I repented, or tried to not desire beauty, I found myself longing to know I was beautiful to someone.
During this season, I felt drawn to Song of Solomon. At the time, I had no idea the transformational power of the Word of God. I heard a pastor encourage believers to give the word of God 10 years to transform our thinking. That sounded like an eternity, so I decided a year was enough. I purposed to read, re-read, pray, and journal through these 8 chapters of the bible. As I gave myself to this practice, Jesus began to wash away all the pain of each betrayal, each ugly look of shame, and He began to bring forth the beauty in me. He literally was changing my ashes to beauty. I was destined to discover how HE felt about me, and I would hear Him call me beautiful time and time again. Eventually, these words would penetrate the darkest places of my soul and water the driest caverns of my heart. His Word would become alive in me—but it was a process.
Set Your Seal Upon My Heart
About the 3rd year into my journey through the Song of Solomon, while on a road trip, I listened to Mike Bickle (from the International House of Prayer) teach on The Song Of Solomon. I heard him explain that we are created to be beautiful. I had to pull over to the side of the road as hot tears drenched my face. I was made to be beautiful. Just like I was made to be loved, this was in my DNA and I couldn’t repent my way out of this longing. Unfortunately, like so many others, I had sought affirmation for my beauty in the eyes of others. God Himself wanted me to hear, and know that I was indeed beautiful. I could not repent my way out of longing for beauty.
In his book The Seven Longings of the Human Heart, Mike shares:
“We long to be attractive and beautiful, and this longing is an expression of God’s genius and personality. A beautiful God created us in such a way that we long to possess beauty, to be striking and engaging. In other words, we are created with a desire to be beautiful because we are created in the image of the Beautiful One.”
The Truth Will Set You Free
I continued to wrestle with this truth. I studied it, I had heard Him say it, but the lies still erupted in my mind. One night, I fell on my bed in exhaustion. I had been tormented all day by the lies. Why-oh-why would they not stop? In my complete exhaustion, at the end of my rope, I heard the Holy Spirit ask, “Who do you choose to believe?”
What, God? Was that You? I wondered.
Once again, I heard, “Whose report do you believe?”
Was it REALLY that simple? I wondered. For years, I had heard Him call me beautiful through verses such as:
If you yourself do not know,
Most beautiful among women (Song of Solomon 1:8).
How beautiful you are, my darling,
How beautiful you are! (Song of Solomon 1:15).
Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, And come along. (Song of Solomon 2:10).
How beautiful you are, my darling, How beautiful you are! (Song of Solomon 4:1).
You are altogether beautiful, my darling, And there is no blemish in you. (Song of Solomon 4:1).
And again in verses: 5:9, 6:1, 6:4, 6:10, 7:1, 7:6.
In fact, the whole book is about the revelation of who we are as the Beautiful Beloved.
This was it—I had to choose to not only hear, but also believe that truth; to know the truth so I could be free in the truth. I chose that day to say “yes” to believing the truth. I had the sword, He had been equipping me all those years with the truth from the Word. Now I would use the truth to strike down the lie every time it came against me. I became free; free to be the beautiful reflection of the Beautiful One, and free to reflect that beauty to others who were hurting.
When we hear (with our heart and not just our head) Him call us beautiful…we become the glorious Beloved, in love with a Bridegroom and “many waters cannot quench this love” (Song of Solomon 8:7). We become an unstoppable force advancing the kingdom of beauty.
Let’s just simply agree with the Lord’s heart: “Yes, Lord, may it be to me as you desire. Make me beautiful.”
Photo credit: ©Thinkstock
Misty Honnold is the Founder and President of Mountain of Myrrh Ministry a.k.a. The Single MOM KC, a nationwide organization reaching out to single mothers with the message of hope. She used her gifts as a visionary mother to raise 4 children. Now she brings value to other women and families through inspirational teachings, leadership and coaching. As an unashamed extrovert, Misty is a party waiting to happen and loves to celebrate all of life’s moments.