Pivot.
It has become a common word in my vocabulary as of late.
To pivot, by definition, means to turn on or as if on a central point, pin, or shaft. In other words, when we pivot, we swing to a different direction.
Pivot has become a key term in the medical field over the last 18 months. Change has always been a common theme in the medical field, but it has become even more intense since the pandemic began. As cases have begun to rise in Oklahoma over the last month, I have watched our health-care system pivot in many ways. The focus of my job has begun to change as we spend more time on Covid and less on other diagnoses. Visitation policies have begun to pivot in an effort to protect our patients, staff, and visitors. Even our normal nursing policies have begun to pivot to allow room for a higher acuity within our patient population.
We pivot daily, learning to embrace the key cog of flexibility.
As humans, we often long for stability. Change makes us uncomfortable, and we would much rather rest in our comfort zone. However, everything I stand for began with a call from my Father to escape my comfort zone. In the words of Mark Hall from Casting Crowns:
Oh, what I would do to have the kind of faith it takes to step out of this boat I’m in, Onto the crashing waves,
To step out of my comfort zone into the realm of the unknown where Jesus is, and He’s holding out His hands
Yes, my journey began with those words, with my Father calling me to step out of my comfort zone. I had no idea leaving my comfort zone would mean walking a path of divorce and single-parenting for the next decade of my life. I had no idea stepping out of my comfort zone would mean losing every ounce of financial security I had. I had no idea following my Father would take me on a journey to trust Him with every single aspect of my life—recognizing any control I perceived I had was nothing more than an illusion.
I also had no idea that leaving my comfort zone would mean I was able to enjoy an unmatched intimacy with my Father. I had no idea that stepping onto the waves would mean I got to experience miracles—big and small—like I never had before. I had no idea that reaching out to grab the outstretched hands of my Savior would take me on a journey like no other, with more blessings than I could count in this lifetime.
And so, here I stand, looking to the future, knowing it is time to pivot.
This pivot is different. It’s not some life-altering choice that leaves me alone and destitute. Instead, it is time to step back, take a breather, and begin some exciting new projects. It’s a fresh-beginning and an opportunity to learn and grow. It’s a time where I get to step back and focus on God and my family.
These last few years have been wonderful and yet exhausting. My heart longs for so much, and yet my body and mind are weary. You see, I have an amazing husband, three amazing young adult children. My baby girl is a senior in high school, and I want nothing more than to spend this year soaking in every activity and event. The biggest regret I have on this single-parent journey is that I feel like I missed so much of my kids’ lives because I was busy fighting to survive financially. Don’t get me wrong—I was blessed with a great job and more income than most single moms, but I just feel like I missed so much. I don’t want to miss a single moment of my daughter’s final year in school.
At the same time, my boys are entering pivotal times in their lives. My oldest is in flight school. He’s scheduled for his first solo flight tomorrow (pray for this mama’s terrified heart!). My younger son is immersed in his career, and I love nothing more than the precious moments with him when he comes in after his shift to share the crazy encounters of his night as a firefighter/EMT. I know it won’t be long before our home is quiet, and I am intentionally choosing to soak in every single moment I have with these “kids” under my roof.
So what’s my current pivot?
As you may have noticed, my website has been undergoing a transformation. Some of you have contacted me and said you haven’t received any posts in your email inbox since March. (So sorry about that!!) I’ve had an amazing lady working to update my website, and we are working out all the final kinks. While she has been busy updating my website, I have been learning how to be more effective in my blogl.
The problem is that all of these incredible things take time—my most precious commodity.
A family. A full-time job. A ministry that I desperately want to grow. A new blog venture that just has me over-the-top excited about the possibilities. Learning how to maximize my impact through my blog. Writing weekly emails and newsletters.
All while trying desperately not to miss another moment with my kids.
Where does that leave me?
Simply needing to take a breath. A breather where I can be refreshed.
You, my faithful readers, mean the world to me. You have given purpose to the pain I have experienced. You put a smile on my face every time I hear from one of you.
And I am not going anywhere!
What I am going to do is revisit some of my most popular posts. While I take a type of sabbatical, I am going to bring back some of my favorite words. Many of them were written almost a decade ago, so I hope we can all use the refresher.
I will still be checking emails (I might even be more timely in my email responses). I will still schedule coaching sessions. I will still be available by Facebook messages. And I will probably still pop in and throw up some new content from time to time.
But for the next few months, you may see some repeat posts.
What can you do for me? Pray for me. Pray for direction. Pray for refreshing. Pray for complete surrender. Pray for God to do a new work in me so He can do an even greater work through me.
I love and appreciate each one of you. Thank you for trusting me on this journey called life.