Editor's Note: This is Part II in a two-part series. Read Part I here.
My dear single mom, if you do not have hope for the future, if you don’t expect wonderful things for you and your children, you are being deceived.You have yet to discover the true champion Who resides within you: "In all things we are more than conqueror’s through him who loves us" (Romans 8:37). With Christ, you are now on the road to victory, not victimhood. With hope in God, you can have victory over every situation—yes, even divorce and single parenting.
You are the leader of your home now and as daunting as that role may seem, God has equipped you to fulfill that responsibility. He wants to give you a "can do attitude" and a clear direction of what to do and how to do it.
When you focus on God and what you can do through Him, things really start to happen. You will feel alive, renewed and refreshed, for you know that you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you (Philippians 4:13). Your priorities will be different and you will be able to bring order into the chaos of your life. I know because that’s what happened to me.
God’s Word tells us that he has a plan for us. It also says, "Whatever things are true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things" (Philippians 4:8). I decided to put those words into practice, and to ask God to reveal his plan for me each day. Once I understood what God wanted me to do each day, I was able to discipline myself to accomplish those tasks for my children, my home, and myself. I no longer found find myself staring into space or letting my mind wander about how I was going to do it all. I learned to live in the present. As a result, I worked effectively and produced results.
What God Wants for You
Even beyond accomplishing our daily tasks, God’s Word tells us that he wants us to be healthy in all areas of our lives. It says, "I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well" (John 3:2). Sometimes this doesn't take the form of what we consider to be earthly success, but know that God is with you and desires you to live a life of purpose and blessings. He wants you to be filled with Him and to experience all that He has planned for you, and to know that it is all good. He wants the fruit of the Holy Spirit--love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control-- to overflow from you and your children. "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. (John 15:5)
He wants you to have time to spend with Him, your children and for yourself. He wants you to be able to get done all that needs to be done. He wants to be your provider and your protector. He wants to spend every minute of the day and night with you and to talk about every single detail of your day. He wants to be your husband and your children’s father. He wants you to be healthy, whole, complete, and fulfilled in Him and Him alone.
Most of all, dear single mom, He wants to love you like you have never been loved before. Even now He is saying to you:, "As the father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love" (John 15:9) He wants you to know the treasure of his death on the cross for you.
Do you want what He wants for you and your children? Will you make yourself available to God and want what He wants for you? If you will, God will do the work in you. All you need to do is ask Him.
Are You a Healthy Single Mom?
So what specific areas in your life do you need God’s help and strength? Below is a list of statements that describe an emotionally and spiritually healthy single mom. Mark "yes" if the statement describes you, and "no" if it doesn’t.
Please do not be discouraged if you mark "no" besides several or even all of these statements. We all have to start somewhere -- I had to start at ground zero on every single one of these! No matter where you are, remember that God wants you to flourish, to bloom, to come into your prime in this season of your life. Remember, we will not reach perfection until the day that we see His face. These are area’s that will be a life long pursuit, that will take a lifetime to achieve.
So go ahead, look through these statements very carefully. Don’t miss a single blessing that God has for you by not being completely honest with yourself in every area. This is the start of your journey of a lifetime of fulfilment with God.
1. I am no longer full of fear
2. I am no longer discouraged
3. I do not live in the past
4. I no longer run away from God, I run to God
5. I have let go of anger, bitterness, rejection and fear
6. I have stopped focusing on my circumstances.
7. I am no longer filled with despair.
8. I resist temptation and flee from the enemy
9. I live to please God alone
10. I understand grace
11. I understand mercy
12. I completely depend on God
13. I consistently do the right thing
14. I love the Lord with all of my mind and strength
15. I seek God’s face in everything
16. I am free in Christ
17. I walk by faith, allowing the Holy Spirit to guide me
18. I am on God’s journey instead of my own
19. I live a life free of evil intentions
20. I receive God’s direction every day
21. I create peace wherever I go
22. I am fulfilled by Christ alone.
23. I am living the character of Christ that God has given me.
24. I seek Gods wisdom in all areas of my life.
Well, how did you do? Did you uncover some areas that you need to bring to the Lord? If so, pray over each one of these areas, asking Him to flood you with His grace to change.
You are a champion with God and you can have a great, wonderful future as a single mom. You can get through this season in your life. My prayer is that both of us can live the kind of life God intended for us: a life of purpose and meaning, focus and order, balance and harmony. But we can not do this by our own will or power. We can only accomplish these goals by the grace and power of the Holy Spirit working through us. I pray that you will let God raise you up on eagles’ wings so that you can soar to new heights and a new life with Him.
"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, the will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31
Lori Little, A Woman By Design ministry's founder, is the former Director of John C. Maxwell's THRiVE!, Becoming A Woman Of Influence. A major focus of Lori's ministry is the Hope and Help for the Single Mom initiative.
21 Principles of a Healthy Single Mom offers meaningful messages, helpful advice and loving encouragement for every single mom. To inquire about and order the CD packages or the new DVD Bibly study, call 678-889-7747, or visit the website at: www.hope4singlemoms.com.Dr. Charles Stanley says of the 21 Principles:
"If a single mom will follow these 21 Principles, there is no way for her to fail. She will watch herself grow in her own strength and abilities and become more confident as the leader of her home.
The 21 Principles of a Healthy Single Mom is a practical asset for single mothers to apply specific, workable, successful guidelines to her life."