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10 Things to Say to Your Preschooler

  • Ruthie Gray Crosswalk.com Contributing Writer
  • Updated Aug 14, 2017
10 Things to Say to Your Preschooler

Preschoolers.

That one word alone evokes sighs from parents, and inward chuckles from grandparents. Having recently entered the grandparenting stage, I’m reminded just how funny (and irrational) preschoolers can be. I’ve lovingly termed our 3-year-old grandson the Tiny Tornado because he packs a punch the moment he enters a room, plowing through, leaving mini-mass destruction in his wake.

His 18-month-old sister lays personal claim to the word “mine”, not unlike the seagulls from the movie Finding Nemo. It’s difficult to discern quick and appropriate reactions to a preschooler’s flurry of activity. As new parents seek balance while fielding comments such as “why” and “no”, there are some key phrases they can give in exchange.

Photo credit: ©Thinkstock/Image Source White

  • 1. Yes

    1. Yes

    A mama often finds herself spouting the word “no” without thinking, almost as a go-to safety net. While obviously the word “no” is necessary, the word “yes” bears equal importance. This single word holds promise, hope, and joy. Solomon got it right when he said, “A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones” (Proverbs 17:22)

    In a world of “no’s”, what can you say, “yes” about? Did he bounce through the bathroom door, grasping a pop-up book as you busily scrubbed toilet grime? Toss the brush and read that one-minute book. Did she ask to go out and swing or enjoy a popsicle? Set aside the laundry basket and set the timer for 30 minutes.

    Preschoolers don’t ask for much; they just ask often. Their requests wear down even the strongest mom on her happiest day. But remember, this is an inquisitive stage that, thankfully, doesn’t require overthinking on your part (that stage comes later - think, teenagers). Preschoolers blurt requests that don’t require mental energy, just a willingness to be interrupted during your never-ending string of duties. That long list of chores will still be there tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. Say yes occasionally – your “yes” holds the power of joy.

     

    Photo credit: ©Thinkstock/Studio-Annika

  • 2. No

    2. No

    Of course, you knew it was coming. Kids must be taught, “no” for their safety and your sanity. We say “no” to lying on gritty parking lots, sampling gum from underneath restaurant tables, and darting towards oncoming traffic.

    But “no” also builds character. This word means, “Don’t act rude”, “Don’t scream at the table”, and “Don’t hit your sister.” Young parents often have difficulty transitioning to “no” because little Willie is just so cute when he giggles over spitting his food. It’s hard to hide the urge to chuckle when you know they’re being rotten.

    Trust me on this one – you don’t do yourself any favors by putting off the word “no”. Say it like you mean it, don’t crack a smile, and expect obedience. Kids need boundaries, and kids need follow-through. The sooner you instill obedience in your child, the easier the battles to come.

     

    Photo credit: ©Thinkstock

  • 3. Can I play too?

    3. Can I play too?

    Parents are busy making ends meet and providing for the family. But showing children we’re interested in their “work” is equally important for fostering family connections. You’ve likely heard it said a preschooler’s work is play. They’re serious about their play, and while parents don’t have lots of time to interact, we must make time for our kids’ “work”.

    Be it tossing a ball, lining up race cars, or serving tea to baby dolls, ask your preschooler if you can play sometimes. Yes – once you start, they’ll ask more often. You’ve already learned how to say no – and you’ll have to say it some. But don’t be stingy with your time – interact with your preschooler and ask to play at his “work”.

     

    Photo credit: ©Thinkstock

  • 4. Hahaha!

    4. Hahaha!

    In case you hadn’t heard, giggles lighten the load. Parenting is full of stressful moments, so when something funny happens, laugh! Another perk to laughter is that it builds bonds with our children!

    Kids are silly, fun, and witty, and preschoolers use words all wrong and take things literally. Last week when I offered to read him a book, the Tiny Tornado said, “Uh, no. I don’t think you can read very well.” I cracked up! Don’t take them literally because they don’t know what they’re saying half the time. 

    Life is too serious not to laugh and laughter is God’s gift to offset tension. By giving a sense of humor priority, we teach our kids to enjoy the little moments. Mark Twain said, “The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.”

     

    Photo credit: ©Thinkstock/Liderina

  • 5. Good job!

    5. Good job!

    It’s easy to get caught up in our preschoolers’ blunders, especially when they’re creating messes. But kids need to know they’re doing well at learning. As we teach responsibility, we should take care not dampen spirits by frequently pointing out flaws. A sideways bedspread, spilled toothpaste, or skewed place setting can easily be corrected. 

    But a crushed spirit can lead to a lifetime of hurt. Be sure to praise your child as you teach. Allow mistakes for efforts made, and notice little improvements. Verbally expressing pride in our children’s efforts gives them incentive to keep trying. 

     

    Photo credit: ©Thinkstock

  • 6. Nap time!

    6. Nap time!

    Every mom looks forward to nap time, right? Don’t underestimate the value of this priority! Your preschooler needs rest from stimulation and overactivity and so do you. Keeping her on a schedule goes a long way toward saving your sanity in the evening hours. 

    When my kids were young, nap time dictated my schedule. I knew if naps were skipped, my temper would be short and evening drama would be high. 

    Even when kids begin to need less sleep, give them 30 minutes to an hour in their rooms looking at books or playing quietly in their beds. Mama needs that time as much as the kiddos so do yourself a favor and keep nap times in your routine.

     

    Photo credit: ©Thinkstock/red_pepper82

  • 7. Clean up!

    7. Clean up!

    Preschoolers are messy. They leave toys, clothes, and Cheerios strewn from one end of the house to the other. We moms get so tired of picking up after them! But even the littlest toddler can learn to help tidy up. The sooner we teach responsibility for cleanup, the sooner they own it.

    Don’t pick up after your preschooler. Find ways to incentivize clean up and enforce daily. You are not a slave, and the sooner your preschooler realizes this, the better. Most kids don’t instinctively know how to pick up or where to store items, so take time to teach them how. 

     

    Photo credit: ©Thinkstock/Kraig Scarbinsky

  • 8. Nothing

    8. Nothing

    Oftentimes, your preschooler gets so spun up that nothing you say improves the situation. If she’s throwing a tantrum, oftentimes the best action is to remove her from the room and into a quiet spot. Kids this age don’t understand rationale, so we make it worse by pressing - and then we say things we regret. Those are the times to choose silence.  

    Direct your child to the time-out chair, their bed, or a boundary location, but choose to shut your mouth and wait until he is calm. Ask the Lord for help in this needed area of the tongue and know you’re not alone in your struggle. Moms especially need to depend on God’s strength with temper!

     

    Photo credit: ©thinkstock/Nomadsoul1

  • 9. Let's eat!

    9. Let's eat!

    If you have a preschooler who isn’t a picky eater, I’d like to shake your hand. My oldest went on food strike when she turned 1 and didn’t eat again till age 4. During that time, I begged, whined, and yelled over her eating habits.

    In hindsight, I realize she drank her way through the preschool years. Monitor drinks, offer variety, and try not to get all wigged out when they eat pasta for every meal. Serve new foods occasionally along with a variety of fruits and vegetables, and if all they eat is ketchup, take it. My pediatrician always said, “At the end of the month, they’ll likely get all the nutrients they need, even if it seems they only eat one type of food. And you can count ketchup as a vegetable.”

    Just so you know, my oldest is now 28 and she eats almost anything. (And now, her toddlers don’t eat.) There’s hope!

     

    Photo credit: ©Thinkstock/DGLimages

  • 10. I love you!

    10. I love you!

    Of course, right? It seems simple and most families verbalize this phrase. But if you come from roots where “I love you” wasn’t said, make an effort. My husband told our kids “I love you” every day, all day and I usually said it once a day. We’re all reared differently. 

    Kids need to know you love them, and they need to hear it. Don’t just assume they know. Tell them “I love you” at least once a day.  

    A loving touch is important too. Take time for hugs, kisses, and snuggles. If you’re not a snuggler (such as myself), work to make time for this. Your child exemplifies God’s perfect expression of creativity - from the intricate, outward appearance, to the complex, inner personality. Loving on your preschooler is the ultimate thanksgiving toward the Ultimate Creator!

     

    Ruthie Gray is a wife, mom of four, Gigi, and caregiver, living in the sandwich generation and blogging to keep her sanity. When she's not snacking on plastic drumsticks with The Tiny Tornado or snuggling Baby Cakes (her grandbabies), you can find her coaching young  moms to capture joy in parenting at RearReleaseRegroup.com. Ruthie is the author of Count to Nine; 9 Liberating Steps for Mom Frustration and Anger. Click to download her Wife and Mommy Survival Kit here.

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