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10 Ways to Serve and Be Yourself in the Church

10 Ways to Serve and Be Yourself in the Church

“I want to serve at my new church but I’m not sure I’m the kind of person they’re looking for,” a smart and talented, yet humble young woman told me as we shared a meal together.

When I asked “What kind of person do you think your church is looking for?” her response was: “I don’t know. Someone who is…um…not like me.”

I see many people shrink back from opportunities to serve in the church these days, feeling they don’t quite fit the mold of what a Christian should look or act like. Do you, too, think you should change or hide WHO you are in order to be WHAT others expect of you?

To help you step boldly into who you are for the glory of God and the building up of His church, here are 10 ways to serve and still be yourself in church:

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  • 1. Lose Your Insecurities

    1. Lose Your Insecurities

    Psalm 139:14 says we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” – and that means you are uniquely designed, as well, to serve God and bring Him glory. So, when it comes to something in your past or something you struggle with in your present, consider that what you think might disqualify you from ministry might be the very thing God wants to work through you to bring glory to Himself. 

    In Second Corinthians 12:8 we learn that Christ’s grace is sufficient for us and His power “is made perfect in weakness.” When you realize you are uniquely qualified to do whatever God calls you to do, the focus is on Him (not you) and His equipping power to do through you what is beyond you….in spite of your inadequacies, weaknesses, or disabilities. 

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  • 2. Let Go of Self-imposed Expectations

    2. Let Go of Self-imposed Expectations

    You and I tend to worry about the expectations of others, yet many times those expectations of what we believe others will think of us or what we fear they will expect of us are in our own minds. You can let go of the expectations you have of yourself by doing two things: 1) Get a clear description of the area of service and know what is expected of the job; and 2) Aim to please an Audience of One – the Lord Jesus Christ. 

    Colossians 3:23 instructs: “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.” As you focus on God’s expectations of you, you won’t be caught up in what others are thinking, whether or not you’re being recognized, or if you’re fitting the bill. 

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  • 3. Explore Your Spiritual Gifts

    3. Explore Your Spiritual Gifts

    More than a talent or learned ability, a spiritual gift is a task you are enabled to do by the empowering Holy Spirit for the building up of the church. In other words, your “spiritual gift” is not your personality or your preferences.  Your “spiritual gift” is your service that uplifts others in the body of Christ that you couldn’t do apart from the enabling Holy Spirit. What are you utterly dependent on God’s Spirit for in order to do it effectively? 

    The spiritual gifts (you may have more than one) are listed in 1 Corinthians 12:7-11. You can also take an online spiritual gifts assessment (https://mintools.com/spiritual-gifts-test.html) to get a better idea of where you can most effectively serve among the body of Christ. When you serve within your giftedness, you are less likely to experience burnout or feel unqualified in your flesh.

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  • 4. Be Flexible and Willing to Adjust

    4. Be Flexible and Willing to Adjust

    If you have a “take me or leave me” attitude about serving, you may find yourself without an area in which to serve. Keep in mind that God often grows us through the wisdom and advice of Christian leaders.

    So, be open and teachable if someone in leadership says “We’d love to have you serve there, but we’d like to train you first” or “You can lead a study once you walk alongside someone else for a year or two who is currently leading one” or even “We’re a little concerned about your age (personality, mannerisms) for this type of service, would you be open to something else right now?” 

    Trust the process. Scripture says God is the One who appoints leaders (Psalm 75:6-7), and when you consider the wisdom and advice of church leadership and submit to that, it could be a teaching moment and growth opportunity for you, as well. 

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  • 5. Be Willing to Do the Little Things

    5. Be Willing to Do the Little Things

    Handing out church bulletins or greeting others at the door might seem like small, meaningless tasks, especially if you’re gifted musically or you are great at computer graphics, administration, or event-planning. Yet, Scripture says “One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much…” (Luke 16:10). As we prove ourselves faithful in the smaller things, God will bring the bigger things. 

    Some churches want to see if you will be faithful, dependable, and pleasant to work with. Take the “starter” position if it’s offered. Or ask for one, and serve with joy. You may eventually find, after others see your heart to serve, that there will be more opportunities that better match your abilities and interests. 

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  • 6. Do What Only You Can Do

    6. Do What Only You Can Do

    After being faithful in the little things, you may be asked to do more things. If this is the case, be selective. Instead of doing anything and everything you’re asked to do at your church (that can easily lead to burnout and discouragement), you can get in touch with your uniqueness, and God’s specific calling on your life when you say “yes” to the things that only you can do. 

    In other words, if someone else can just as easily do what you’re doing, maybe you’re  not necessarily being uniquely called to do it. All through our Christian lives we will see opportunities to fulfill needs, and should help do so if we are able, along with fellow believers.

    Serving others should be a part of our lives, but such service won’t necessarily be the same as a special calling. If you are becoming overwhelmed with service or doing too many things that don’t fit with who you really are, start saying yes to those tasks that you believe only you can do.  

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  • 7. Get in Touch with Your Heart

    7. Get in Touch with Your Heart

    God generally calls us to a task we would enjoy doing, or one that matches some of our natural abilities or areas of spiritual giftedness. And He’ll often call us toward something that has been burning in our hearts for a while. 

    If you don’t like children, don’t agree to serve in children’s ministry grudgingly because you believe the expectation is there or because you find it difficult to say “no.”  You can be much more effective in an area that makes your heart sing. If you love art, or music, being around people, or behind the scenes clerical work, inquire about helping in one of those areas or training alongside someone who can show you the ropes.

    You can serve with joy when you truly love what you are doing. 

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  • 8. Be Aware of God's Nudge

    8. Be Aware of God's Nudge

    Not only should we get in touch with our own hearts, but we should get in touch with God’s heart, so that we can know what is important to Him and what He is impressing on our hearts to do. 

    How do you know when God is nudging you to do something? Sometimes that conviction in our hearts simply won’t go away – the need is very apparent and no one else is stepping forward to meet it. When that happens, lift the matter to the Lord in prayer. If the burden persists, then it may be God’s special calling on YOUR life.

    By asking yourself “Is this something I feel God nudging me to do?” you can get closer to what God wants, not necessarily just what YOU want. 

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  • 9. Be Confident in Who You are in Christ

    9. Be Confident in Who You are in Christ

    I believe there is a fine line between confidence in our identity in Christ and confidence in ourselves, which leads to spiritual pride. Know that you are His child. Know that He can equip you to do anything. But also know that you will not be able to do anything well (and with eternal benefit) without the Holy Spirit’s enabling power (John 15:5).  

    Because most people tend to be hard on themselves and critical of their own abilities, focus on Christ’s strength – not your weakness. And if you err on the side of spiritual pride, focus on Christ’s strength enabling you to be strong. When you see yourself as His servant (rather than one of His superintendents) you will be able to keep a proper perspective. 

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  • 10. Have a Humble Heart

    10. Have a Humble Heart

    When you begin serving as a free spirit, and one who is not bound by legalism or the expectations of others, it’s easy for that to develop into spiritual pride. But the key to living freely is to live surrendered. When you are humble and intent on glorifying God with your life, that humility makes all the difference. When you are surrendered, you can be yourself, because you are being His. 

    Colossians 3:3 tells believers “For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.” When you are “hidden with Christ in God”, your service isn’t about “making a statement” with your clothing or actions; it isn’t about calling attention to your individuality, or the fact that you’re “outside the box.” One who is “hidden with Christ in God” is invisible to the cheers of this world, and intent on pleasing Christ alone. In Psalm 51:17, David sang “The sacrifice pleasing to God is a broken spirit. God, You will not despise a broken and humbled heart.” And James 4:10 tells us, “Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He will lift you up.” Keep a humble heart and God will allow you to serve effectively, no matter who or where you are. 


    Cindi McMenamin is a national speaker who helps women and couples strengthen their walk with God and their relationships. She is the author of 16 books, including the best-selling  When Women Walk Alone (more than 125,000 copies sold), When a Woman Overcomes Life’s Hurts, When God Sees Your Tears, and her newest book, Drama Free.  For more on her speaking ministry, books, or free articles to strengthen your soul, marriage, or parenting, see her website www.StrengthForTheSoul.com

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