Instead of “trying” harder or searching for magic formulas to improve our health, why not ask God to show us the root of the problem and find what is blocking our success? Here are six possible reasons you’ve failed to enjoy better health—and sabotaged your goals with bad choices. And they’re all FRAUDS.
FRAUDS is an acronym for: Fear, Resentment, Anger, Unforgiveness, Disappointment, Shame. Let’s take a look at each of these six aspects that hold people back.
Fear
Fear can keep you out of trouble. Before you pull out from a traffic light, you look left and right, based on a healthy avoidance of harm. But fear can also keep you in trouble. When I, (Mark) was growing up I struggled with approval. The fear of rejection stemmed back to childhood—being an only child, adopted, out of shape, and definitely not one of the cool kids in school. I only broke through when I stopped hiding and confronted fear. If you know there is something new you need to do, there will be fear. But you can do it afraid. Growth happens when you step outside of your comfort zone.
Resentment
When I, (Michele) look back on the hurts I experienced in my younger years—wounds of abandonment, abusive relationships, personal injury, and homelessness—I realize that resentment infected my soul. I blamed others for my unhappiness. Are you infected with resentment? It’s like a wound that won’t heal unless it is thoroughly cleaned. If not purged, resentment turns into anger.
Anger
Anger will drive our blood pressure up, which can drive up our cortisol levels. Cortisol drives blood sugar, and when blood sugar goes up it drives insulin. When insulin is up in a chronic way you’ll begin to store more fat. See how easily emotion can impact our physical health? A young man came to see us for help with his weight. He had tried every diet, weight loss strategy, and even a few types of pills. He turned to us as his last hope. In order to get to the root of the issue, we like to ask a lot of questions. After all, we want success.
We asked, “How long have you struggled with weight?”
“Since childhood.”
“Did your parents show any favoritism towards any of your siblings?”
“Yes, my brother was their favorite.”
“Did your brother struggle with weight?”
“Never!” he snapped. We could see rage rising.
So we asked, “How did they handle that with you?”
“Well, my parents used to nag me to lose weight—and be more like my brother.”
We could feel the burden he carried, even though his parents had long since passed. He went on to marry a woman who seemed to be able to eat anything she wanted and not gain weight. When she told him he needed to lose weight, all the fear, resentment, and anger came rushing back like a bad dream. This was the root of his food addiction. Sometimes we have to go back to our childhood years to find the root of anger.
Unforgiveness
Many of our patients hold unforgiveness against themselves. God doesn’t expect you to be perfect. We sure aren’t. But what we expect, and what you should expect, is perfect effort. This means when you fall down, there are three choices. You can lay there and let resentment turn to anger. You can stay in the sadness and wallow in the pain. Or you can dust yourself off and say, “Well, I fell. It happens sometimes when you move. So I choose to forgive myself and get up.” When it comes to forgiveness, why not begin with you? God is always willing. Are you willing to forgive yourself?
Disappointment
The long-term effects of fear, resentment, anger, and unforgiveness create an outlook of disappointment and despair. We prescribe a unique tool to every one of our patients: healing words. We recommend replacements for statements like, “I’m a victim of my father’s alcoholism,” “I’m fat and ugly,” or, “I’ll never lose weight.” Instead, create and speak positive statements about you and your future, along with scriptures that build faith. Pay attention to your words, and prescribe words that heal.
Shame
We are often ashamed of our actions, and even ashamed of life’s twists and turns. Instead of seeing ourselves as a person who’s overcoming, we see a person who’s been overcome. People who hide shame often over-talk, and make fun of themselves. They’re always hiding—which is tempting to do on social media. The problem is, social media is a breeding ground for comparison and shame. All together, FRAUDS lie—about who you truly are.
Freedom from FRAUDS
I, (Michele) had to walk through the stages of FRAUDS myself to evaluate why I did what I did, and where my emotional drive came from. Growing up, all my neighbors had really nice houses. Except us. My family was very poor and unhealthy. Our yard was unkept and my parents were obese. Eventually, I became ashamed of who I was. At some point in life, you have to look back and ask, “Where are all these toxic emotions coming from?” and face the root causes. God will help you.
All the exercise and good food in the world may not make you healthy if you’re emotionally sick or poisoning yourself with FRAUDS. It’s not only what you eat, but what’s eating you.
Your New Normal
It’s “normal” to experience fear, resentment, anger, unforgiveness, disappointment, and shame. But this doesn’t have to be your normal. You were designed by a loving Creator to be well—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. That’s who you really are. You’re not a fat person, or a weak person, or a failure. The real you is seeking the health God intends for you to enjoy.
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Natali_Mis
Drs. Mark and Michele Sherwood are the founders of a successful medical practice and help patients from around the world find the health they were created to enjoy, in every area of life. As bestselling authors, podcasters, and movie producers they founded Hope Dealers International to reach beyond their clinic. www.Sherwood.tv