leprechaun

Yesterday I wrote St. Patrick: The Benevolent Catholic Leprechauns. And today, from one Lucky Leath Bhro'gan, president of an organization called LUAU (Leprechauns United Against Ulcerousness), I got this:


Dear Mr. Shore:

Ho, ho, ho; hee hee hee

With one kick of my heel

I could shatter your knee.

I'm not likely to do it

Our type's not that mean

Though it would bring us pleasure

To hear how you'd scream.

That last post you wrote

Making fun of St. Paddy?

Made us want to ask you

"Now who's your daddy?"

You thought it was fun

To make light of our hero

How do you sleep,

You absolute zero?

But we are nice folk

forgiving and kind

So we'll let this one go

We'll leave it behind.

But please heed my words:

If you do that once more

You'll find that your shoes

Have been nailed to the floor.

Your bleach will tip over

Your socks disappear

And the gas in your car

Will turn into green beer.

We'll pull up your flowers

Dishevel your yard

You'll find your wood flooring

all terribly marred.

We'll put dirt in your oatmeal

you'll trip when you jog

We'll leave you no doubt

As to who shaved your dog.

If you'd like to avoid this

And sidestep the strife

Just write something decent

For once in your life.


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