How Do You Deal with Heartbreak?
- Thursday, July 28, 2011
It may be difficult to do at times, but placing your hope in a perfect God is a better decision than giving your life to a fallible human. God continually shows this to be true in ways we can’t even fathom and hope placed in him does not disappoint. I’m not sure we can say the same about others, or ourselves.
Show love for everyone (including your “ex”) (Matthew 5:43).
Love in today’s society seems to be so fleeting and have no basis at times. The love God teaches us is neither selfish nor affected by emotions or situation, but rather loves through all things, including trials, faults and disappointments.
I have had my share of heartbreaks, but I can honestly say when all was said and done, I truly wanted what was best for the other person and I was able to pray she would find love and happiness apart from me. That is when I knew I had a grasp of what Jesus meant with regard to unconditional love.
The most difficult part, as you have mentioned, is to see your former interest around work or at church, especially if he or she is with someone else. However, when you reach that point in your healing and forgiveness process when you will want the other person to be happy even if it doesn’t include you, you will find a peace that really does transcend all (human) understanding.
This isn’t an easy process, it will take time and there is no perfect “formula,” but it all begins with releasing any negative feelings you have toward your former partner, forgiving them for whatever wrong they may have done, asking the Lord to heal you of your hurt and pain and holding onto hope, faith and love.
When the next opportunity comes around, and there will be more, you will be better equipped to handle whatever that situation holds.
The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit (Psalms 34:18).
SHE SAID: Maybe it’s because I came of age in the ‘80s, but Def Leppard’s “Bringin’ on the Heartbreak” kept ringing in my ears the first time I read through your question. Now that has nothing to do with my answer right now. But hey, it’s a catchy intro. And it’s honest, right?
Moving on …
I remember dealing with heartbreak back in high school when a summer romance ended abruptly before the school year started back up again. It was a mutual split, but it was right before my senior year was to begin. Once school started, the boy I had dated was now “big man on campus,” as most senior males might feel as they proudly strut along the school hallways during their last year in high school. [Insert “fun” teenage eye-roll here.]
Thankfully, we didn’t have any classes together. But I would see him in passing from time to time and would hear of what new girls he was dating and what not. Yes, I was cordial and would offer a perfunctory “hello” when we crossed paths. But I also wasn’t looking for opportunities to spend extra time around him or have in-depth conversations any time soon. There was still pain lurking in my heart as a result of the break-up, and I was still healing.
Fast forward to adulthood, and I have to say that I haven’t had to be in a situation like you are describing (either a break-up with someone from a workplace setting or at a church) in a long time. But, in remembering my high school break-up, I can only imagine that it would be awkward in a setting where you could routinely bump into one another and even more so if there is still interest for one of the parties involved.
As you know, a close relationship (whether romantic or platonic) knits two people together, through time spent together, through thoughts, feelings and dreams shared via interpersonal communication and through a whole host of experiences that two may share as they do life together. Add in two people who are believers and share a strong spiritual connection, and that can give it an even deeper dimension (1 John 1:7).
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