Ever Feel Unloved? Unappreciated? Devalued?
Life is hard. The picture to the right? One of my bad weeks.
My friend Jenni says, "Life is messy."
I agree. There are many days I trudge through to Monday, my only goal to reach Friday. Sane.
Other times, fatigue sneaks up to bite me in the backside in the middle of seven loads of laundry, the first on the list of jobs for the day. Dishes wait in the sink, bathrooms scream to be cleaned, and sheets beg to be changed. Then there's my personal favorite--dinner. But oops, forgot that trip to the grocery store that was supposed to have happened two days ago. Why don't I buy four gallons of milk at a pop instead of two?
A lot to accomplish. No pats on the back. They should put that disclaimer in the Welcome to Marriage and So, You're A Parent brochures.
I don't know about you, but my kids don't often turn to me and say, "Gosh, Mom, you're so great. Thanks for cleaning up my vomit last night. Here, you forgot this pillowcase when you washed my sheets, twelve of my most special Webkinz, and all eight of my blankets."
My husband doesn't come home from work and marvel, "Wow! Honey, you washed my underwear and socks! Even the ones stuffed under the bed. And all my shirts are hung up in order of color--the top button done just the way I like. Gee, you're super awesome!"
My dogs don't love me as much when their food bowl sits empty and the cats like to trek to my room to deposit their hairballs, and then swish down the hall to love on someone else.
Most people don't care that I've slaved almost a year on my novel. I do get a lot of helpful comments though. "Is that all you ever talk about?" and "You still writing that thing?" or "I could write a book. How hard could it be?" or my comment of choice--"When are you going to be a real writer--you know, besides all those articles? When are you going to get your book published?"
Ever have one of those days? One of those weeks when no one notices how hard you're laboring to make sure their lives work? That happens to me. I bet it happens to you, too.
But then come the high moments. When someone smiles at me or pays for my Starbucks in the drive-thru line. Times I look at my kids and wonder what I will ever do without their hugs when they grow up and find their own way. Nights my husband wraps his arms around me in the dark and pulls me close. And when someone comes along and says, "I like you! I like what you're doing!" That's an amazing feeling.
When I compare the amazing to the frustrating, amazing wins every time. I just need to remember that!
Lord, bring to light the good and cover the bad with Your grace. Shape my attitude the way you see fit. Amen.