Polygamy goes Dutch

Michael Craven Michael Craven's weblog
Published Oct 16, 2005

Throughout the same-sex marriage debate, advocates for homosexual marriage have continually scoffed at the suggestion that the legitimization of marriage between persons of the same-sex will inevitably lead to further redefinitions including polygamy. Andrew Sullivan, one of homosexual marriage's most intelligent defenders, labeled this suggestion "fear-mongering" akin to the discredited belief that interracial marriage would lead to birth defects. Matt Coles, director of the ACLU's Lesbian and Gay Rights Project, said, "I think the idea that there is some kind of slippery slope [to polygamy or group marriage] is silly."

Well, once again the Dutch demonstrate the truth of such fears when on September 30th a man and two women were given a license for their three-way "marriage" by the Dutch government. Victor de Bruijn, 46, from Rosendaal, and his wife Bianca, 31, have signed a "co-habitation contract" with a woman, Mirjam Geven, who abandoned her marriage for the new arrangement. I know, I know; enough with the Dutch already. I wish I could but I simply can't resist the illustration offered by the venerable Dutch as they slip from one cultural rung to the next.

Following a decade long campaign, same-sex marriage in The Netherlands was finally legalized on April 1, 2001 (That's right, April Fools Day.) Throughout the debate the arguments for same-sex marriage centered around issues of "equality" and the distinction that marriage was no longer intrinsically related to procreation and parenting. This is the same foundation offered for the advocacy of same-sex marriage in America. This subtle but profound shift in the conception of marriage among the Dutch served to radically undermine society's traditional understanding and commitment to marriage and the same shift is occurring elsewhere and here.

Historically speaking and throughout civilization marriage was a civil institution that represented society's interest in the manner and place in which children came into being. In the most successful civilizations legal marriage was the only socially accepted relationship for sexual activity given the procreative potential of sex and the fact that marriage between one man and one woman was the most effective arrangement for rearing healthy children.

The current and growing conception that marriage is really only about a relationship between two persons who love each other effectively separates procreation and parenting from marriage and thus renders any "relationship" acceptable. By legalizing marriage between persons of the same sex we will have no choice but to justify polygamy on this same basis as was the case in The Netherlands.

Stanley Kurtz, a research fellow at the Hoover Institution and leading expert on marital conditions in Europe writing for the Weekly Standard in August 2003 wrote, "Among the likeliest effects of gay marriage is to take us down a slippery slope to legalized polygamy and 'polyamory' (group marriage). Marriage will be transformed into a variety of relationship contracts, linking two, three, or more individuals (however weakly and temporarily) in every conceivable combination of male and female. A scare scenario? Hardly. The bottom of this slope is visible from where we stand. Advocacy of legalized polygamy is growing. A network of grass-roots organizations seeking legal recognition for group marriage already exists. The cause of legalized group marriage is championed by a powerful faction of family law specialists. Influential legal bodies in both the United States and Canada have presented radical programs of marital reform. Some of these quasi-governmental proposals go so far as to suggest the abolition of marriage."

In a little-reported speech offered at Yale University earlier this year, ACLU president Nadine Strossen stated that her organization has "defended the right of individuals to engage in polygamy." Yale Daily News reported that Strossen was responding to a "student's question about gay marriage, bigamy, and polygamy." Strossen continued, saying that her legal organization "defend[s] the freedom of choice for mature, consenting individuals, making the ACLU the guardian of liberty ... defend[ing] the fundamental rights of all people."

According to Kurtz, "America's new, souped-up version of polygamy is called 'polyamory.' Polyamorists trace their descent from the anti-monogamy movements of the sixties and seventies - everything from hippie communes, to the support groups that grew up around Robert Rimmer's 1966 novel The Harrad Experiment, to the cult of Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh. Polyamorists proselytize for 'responsible non-monogamy' - open, loving, and stable sexual relationships among more than two people. The modern polyamory movement took off in the mid-nineties - partly because of the growth of the Internet (with its confidentiality), but also in parallel to, and inspired by, the rising gay marriage movement." Kurtz adds, "Unlike classic polygamy, which features one man and several women, polyamory comprises a bewildering variety of sexual combinations. There are triads of one woman and two men; heterosexual group marriages; groups in which some or all members are bisexual; lesbian groups, and so forth."

The flexible, egalitarian, and altogether postmodern polyamorists are more likely to influence the larger society than Mormon polygamists. The polyamorists go after monogamy in a way that resonates with America's secular, post-sixties culture. Yet the fundamental drawback is the same for all pluralistic relationships. Polyamory websites are filled with chatter about jealousy, the problem that will not go away. One only has to recall the consequences still in effect today that resulted from the unholy union of Abraham, Sarah, and Hagar to know that pluralistic forms of marriage are fraught with disaster!

This coming November 8th my fellow Texans will vote on a proposed amendment to the Texas State Constitution, Prop. 2, which will provide "that marriage in this state consists only of the union of one man and one woman and prohibiting this state or a political subdivision of this state from creating or recognizing any legal status identical or similar to marriage." All who are concerned about the preservation of the family, society and a coherent moral understanding must exercise their civic duty and vote for the passage of this amendment.

For the latest information regarding various legislative initiatives across the country and more on what you can do to affirm and defend traditional marriage visit the Family Research Center's website

S. Michael Craven is the vice president for religion & culture at the National Coalition for the Protection of Children & Families and leads the work and ministry of Cultural Apologetics. The Cultural Apologetics ministry works to equip the Church to assert and defend biblical morality and ethics in a manner that is rational, relevant and persuasive in order to recapture the relevance of Christianity to all of life by demonstrating its complete correspondence to reality. For more information on Cultural Apologetics, additional resources and other works by S. Michael Craven visit: www.CulturalApologetics.org

Michael lives in the Dallas area with his wife Carol and their three children.

Send feedback to: mc@nationalcoalition.org