Yesterday was my birthday. I love my birthday, I really really do. The presents, the cake, the flowers, the FB notes and texts. Wonderful. But for about a split second I had a bit of a birthday crisis: I am getting OLDER. Ok, I will go ahead and admit how old I am for full authenticity and disclosure. I am now 34 years old. No this is not anciet nor am I REALLY that old. For some reason, for a few minutes, I tortured myself with the negatives that come with age...
~ A few minute wrinkles forming around my eyes...minute!!
~The fact that it gets harder and harder each year to drop pounds.
~ I don't look as cute in the summer shorts as I did when I was younger.
~I have to use major sunscreen these days because I don't tan like I used to.
All of the above flew through my mind in a matter of minutes. The funny thing is that when I was 29 I couldn't WAIT to be 30. Most of my friends thought I was nuts to be excited for 30. Haven't you heard of those who write bucket lists of things they want to happen in life before 30? These bucket lists for 30s baffle me for I usually don't think of 30s as a bad thing. I always ask those bucket list friends why they can't do those things when they are 30? What is it about the decade in their mind that makes them think life will change so drastically or won't be as much fun.
Revisiting my age crisis...as I mentioned, the crisis only lasted a few minutes because I didn't allow myself to travel down that destructive road of thinking. I allowed the Lord to speak into my heart all of the wonderful things that come with maturity. With the minute wrinkles forming and the added lumps and bumps to my waistline come blessings of life experience where I look back on how God is working through me. My past mistakes and sin from decades past no longer haunt me because I live assured that I am forgive. I also live assured and in the comfort that God doesn't waste ANYTHING in my life if I allow Him to use it for good. I get to look back on my past and pull from it in order to encourage and lift up others. This is ministry for me now.
So, no...I don't fear my thirties.
What I do fear is...
~that I will waste precious time worrying about meaningless things like wrinkles and trying to fit into cute summer shorts
~that I will not continue to grow and mature; that I will be stagnant in my faith.
~that I will take for granted the special blessings God pours on my life when I worry too much about what I'm with out. The "grass is always greener" mentality is not productive.
With a heart that loves to do life and ministry with young adult women, I write this to encourage you to GET EXCITED about maturing and future birthdays. Please don't fear your 30s if you are a twenty-something. Life does not end on your 3oth birthday. Life is fluid and always changing. What you think is the end all and the most fun when you are younger will change. God offers special gifts for each year of our life. We must approach our Lord each day open to the gift of His presence. We must offer ourselves with open arms and an open heart to what that new year will bring. These are opportunities to know Him more and to serve Him well.
With excitement and commitment to maturity, I step out into the 34th year of my life with the goal of seeking God's face and serving Him with a willing heart and soul...even if that means more wrinkles to come in the future...He is WORTH IT.
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