To know and be known
2 Cor 12:14: "… I am ready to come to you, and I will not be a burden to you; for I do not seek what is yours, but you; for children are not responsible to save up for their parents, but parents for their children" (NASU).
What do we seek from our children? What do they offer us? Many times, we seek validation from their achievements. It feels good to be the parent of the overachieving child. In the end, however, if we seek to be validated by their acts, we are seeking what is theirs. Instead, we should be seeking them. Our kids are not responsible for our well-being; we are responsible for theirs.
Think of your relationship to your heavenly Father. God does not need your performance; He wants only you. To be known by God, despite our many faults and failings, is our highest reward (see Matt 7:23). It is no different for our children. They long to be known by you for their own merit, not for their ability to perform. To model that kind of love for your children is to model the love of God for us.
Seek to "know" your children for who God made them to be.