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What Have You Overlooked in Your Marriage?

  • Lane P. Jordan Contributing Writer
  • 2016 19 Sep
What Have You Overlooked in Your Marriage?

With all the marriage books, manuals, sermons, and workshops around us, one would think our marriages should be pretty strong. However, that is not the case. Even in the Christian community, couples struggle with keeping their marriages strong, connected, and happy.

Perhaps we aren’t really concentrating on some of the things we may have overlooked. Let’s look at few:

Where are you in your walk with the Lord?

I know that’s really getting serious right up front but here is one of the best descriptions of a healthy marriage: 

“A great marriage comes from two people walking in the Spirit, loving one another.” -Pete Briscoe

SEE ALSO: The One Thing Missing from Too Many Christian Marriages

We just can’t love someone else fully if we don’t have God’s love in us, completely. When we surrender to God and ask for His presence and His will for our life, His precious Holy Spirit comes in and that’s the joy now in our life! We get the living presence of the Lord and all the fruit of His Spirit making us the most loving, kindest, gentlest of people. 

Maybe not walking daily with the Lord is one area you have overlooked.

Are you kind to your spouse?

Yep, I know it’s hard to live with someone 24/7, even those we love. So when the rough times come, and they will, how do you react and treat your spouse? I was watering a plant in a tiny bar sink located between the kitchen and family room. I turned off the water and let the plant sit in a few inches of water.  Then I went to bed. However, I only thought I had turned off the water when instead a small drip continued on overnight and not until late into the morning did I realize what had happened. Water was everywhere on our new hardwood floors and they were destroyed. Had my husband done such damage, I would have gotten upset. But he just said, “Accidents happen and don’t worry.” Wow. He was really in my corner! How kind he was to me.

SEE ALSO: Why Isn't My Christian Marriage Working?

How about an example not as drastic? How do you act when your spouse gets home from work? Do you meet him/her at the door with a smile and a kiss? How do you act when your spouse needs some help or is sick or not in a good mood? This is when we need to be kind. How do you talk to your spouse? Are you critical, complaining or judging them? How do you talk about your spouse to others? When we change the way we talk and start acting kind, great things will happen to your relationship.

Maybe not being kind is one area you may have overlooked in your marriage.

Do you put your spouse before yourself?

Do you wake up in the morning with the desire to do more for them than for yourself? This is another way to keep your marriage strong. If you spend the day concentrating on serving your spouse, and without thinking of any payback, things will start to change for the better. Why? Because it’s totally biblical. Christ came to serve and to save the lost. If He could serve, than we should follow that model. But, you say, my spouse doesn’t deserve to be served! Well, neither do we. In fact, we all deserve hell but Christ saved us, while we were sinners, from death into life with His death and blood. He is our model of how to love others. And how to serve others. He, who left the throne of royalty in heaven, came to earth to serve and to save the lost as a humble man.

SEE ALSO: When Happily-Ever-After is Not Enough

Perhaps you have overlooked serving your spouse in your marriage before yourself.

When was the last time you read and meditated on the words of 1 Corinthians 13?

I keep the words of this chapter posted on my refrigerator so that I can read these remarkable insights daily. God’s Word is sharper than a two-edged sword so when we read the bible, these words do strike our soul and spirit with Truth! And when we incorporate these principles into our lives, we will be changed into the image of Jesus.

Have you overlooked being patient with your spouse? Are you rude? Easily angered? Do you keep a growing list of their faults? Do you act prideful around them?

Or, do you live to protect them, honor them, trust them and have hope for your future together to be one full of joy, completeness and harmony? Never forget that true love never, ever fails.

Perhaps you have overlooked implementing the dynamic principles of 1 Corinthians 13 in your marriage. 

I’m sure there are many more areas that are overlooked as we run this marathon called marriage. But just the fact that you want and strive to do better, to not overlook any area that may help you, is proof that you have a teachable spirit and a willing heart to make it work. God bless you and your marriage.


Lane P. Jordan is a best-selling author, international motivational and inspirational speaker, singer, artist, Bible teacher, and professional life coach. She lives in Frisco, Texas with her husband who partners with her in ministry and waits impatiently for daughters and granddaughter to visit!  Lane’s desire is to encourage, support, and motivate women of all ages to be better wives, mothers, and women of God by organizing their lives and time. You can find her at: and her blog at