Psychologists, psychiatrists, sociologists, anthropologists and educators have suggested in countless studies and numerous research papers that love is a "learned response, a learned emotion." . . . Most of us continue to behave as though love is not learned but lies dormant in each human being and simply awaits some mystical age of awareness to emerge in full bloom. Many wait for this age forever. We seem to refuse to face the obvious fact that most of us spend our lives trying to find love, trying to live in it and dying without ever truly discovering it.11

I have invested the past thirty plus years of my life in helping people discover how to emotionally connect with each other—how to actively give and receive love, not passively wait for it to somehow magically happen. I can say with confidence to all singles—whether never married, once married, or married several times—that if you will read and apply the information given in the following chapters, you will discover how to give and receive love more effectively. You will discover the missing ingredient in some of your past relationships, and you will learn how to build wholesome, supportive relationships by learning to speak other people's primary love language and better understand your own primary love language.

Much of the pain in broken relationships in our world stems from the truth that many of us in Western culture have never been serious students of love. We haven't really taken it seriously enough to learn how it actually works. In the following pages you will meet dozens of single adults from all categories and all ages who have discovered that a proper understanding of love really does have the potential to change the world—and, more succinctly, to change individual relationships.

Things to Think About

1. To what degree do you feel loved by the significant people in your life?

2. In a time of need, have you experienced the love of a friend like the one Rob described: "I don't think I would have made it without her"? If so, how did your friend show his or her love?

3. Have you been a friend to someone in need? How did you express your love?

4. How successful have you been in giving and receiving emotional love?

5. How interested are you in studying the nature of love and learning new ways to express love?

From The Five Love Languages, Singles Edition. ISBN: 1881273873. Copyright © 2009 by Gary Chapman.  Used by permission of Moody Publishers, 820 N. LaSalle Blvd., Chicago, IL 60610