Two Jews were sitting in a Tel Aviv cafe in the precarious days after Israel first had won its independence, and one said to the other, "I only see one way out."

"What's that?"

"Israel must declare war on the United States."

"What are you talking about?  How could that possibly help us?"

"Well, we'd lose at once and the Americans would send an occupying force. They would form an alliance with a new pro-American government, guarantee our boundaries, flood us with American capital, establish our industries, and make us prosperous."

"Hmmmm!  I see your point, but it won't work."

"Why not?"

"Because with Jewish luck, we'd win the war and spoil everything."