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"Help, I Married the Wrong Person!"

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  • 2014 Oct 07

“The belief that we have married the wrong person is far more sinister
than we are led to believe. A long-term view of marriage (and life for that matter), saves us from the propensity to bolt when it gets hard or is less than we expected.”

— Courtney Reissig, Help, I Married the Wrong Person

According to Scripture, Christians should never marry non-Christians. First Corinthians 7:39 is clear that we are “…free to be married to whom [we] wish, only in the Lord.”

But even in Christian marriages, there are times when one might be tempted to think that he or she has married the wrong person. Courtney Reissig speaks wisdom into this topic in her recent article at The Gospel Coalition: Help, I Married the Wrong Person.

The temptation to buy into the popular notion promoted widely by online dating services is very real. The dream of a perfectly compatible “soul mate” can lead some to doubt the vows they have made to their (now that the honeymoon is over) very incompatible spouses. But Reissig points to a sober, biblical view…

“People are only people. They cannot meet the deepest needs of our souls, even if their words, actions, and Facebook profiles tell us otherwise.”

“…the purpose of marriage is to make you holy, not happy. Of course, a side benefit of marriage is companionship, shared experiences, and—many times—true happiness. But that’s not the ultimate goal. The ultimate goal is to make us like Jesus. We don’t get to the final day on our own. Marriage is one of God’s good means to sanctify us and bring us safely home.”

Some time ago, I interviewed biblical counselor, David Powlison, about this topic. In this brief video (What if I Feel Like I Married the Wrong Person?), he offers a number of wise points to consider, especially regarding cases where there has been criminal abuse or adulteryvery serious issues not covered by Reissig’s short post. Watch it and share your thoughts in the comments below.

Alex Crain is the editor of