The falling prices of rabbit futures
- 2000 1 Apr
On commodity exchanges throughout the world, the downward trend of rabbit futures keeps on going and going and going. . .
Commodity traders were chomping in anxiety today after bunny futures suffered their worst fall over seven years as the rabbit supply continues to soar.
At the New York Mercantile Exchange, bunnies for April delivery closed down by more than a whisker at $4.52 lower. The market price remains at $21.77 per pack today amid signs that bunny exports may be disrupted.
At the COMEX, prices reflected the same shaving. "Maybe we can see the bunny hop back a few cents tomorrow," said bunny analyst I. M. Pink. He added, "Bunny farmers didn't adequately anticipate the multiplication phenomenon of the industry which has led to a glut in supply."
Officials at the IEBE (International Easter Bunny Exchange) are rubbing their own feet for luck. Anxiety is rising about how far the price will fall before it sees a bounce. All analysts are keeping an ear to the street.
However, in the industry magazine, "What's Up?", Dr. Peter R. Abbott gave a sunny outlook as President of an otherwise predatory investment consulting firm called Lynx Investments. Abbott projects that May and June bunny prices may be brighter, "The Easter holiday demand for bunnies may in fact bring back the prices and save the industry."
Finally, representatives of the National Carrot Growers Association are worried as they look down the rabbit hole, fearing that a natural disaster may be imminent if the supply of bunnies continues to go hopping mad. They are asking the federal government to intervene in order to prop up the bunny prices.
But after consulting their calendars, bunny speculators maintain that there is little validity to all this harebrained anxiety - especially considering the fact that people start acting rather foolish on April 1st.
Click here to read an equally foolish article from crosswalk.com's News & Culture Channel: Eye-opening discovery needs support.