How grateful I am that God has provided a way out of my holiday-conflict cycle. After years of attempting to create a conflict-free environment, I have come to understand that conflict is inevitable in a fallen world.. The goal is not to eradicate conflict, (or put a Rockwellian façade on life), but to see the opportunity for God to use it for good. This opportunity begins with my responding to personal conflict in a biblical manner. This is good news in everyday life, and even more so in the hustle and bustle of the holidays. Let me describe some peacemaking principles that will help you provide a little peace on earth in your own home this season.
The same principles which allow us to experience peace during the holidays are the same ones that will allow us to enjoy positive family relationships during the New Year.
If a conflict should arise, try using personal peacemaking principles.
1. Overlook an offense – “A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.” (Proverbs 19:11). Many disputes can be completely resolved by quietly overlooking an offense and forgiving the one who has wronged you. What bothers us now, might actually be a small matter, and the goal is not my way, but God’s way.
2. Discussion – “If … your brother has something against you …go and be reconciled.”(Matt. 5:23-24). Personal wrongs that are too serious to overlook should be resolved through confession or loving confrontation. Remember, though, that before we confront someone with what he has done, we must get the “log” out of our own eye by recognizing how we may have contributed to the conflict and confessing that wrong first. (Matt.7:5) Having admitted that, we can graciously talk to the other person about the matter that has come between us.
