Make sex normal. It's a normal, powerful, natural thing. Sociologists tell us that human beings have three major drives: food, shelter, and sex. We talk to our children about money. We talk to them about caring for their home. We need to talk to them about their sexuality. It's going to hit them one day and they need to be able to talk openly with us. Once again, give them the tools to cope before they need them.

We also have to prepare our children for a world that is preoccupied with sex. The Bible calls it lasciviousness, or a preoccupation with lewd sexual behavior; and sure enough, the world is preoccupied with sex.

The Bible also talks about modesty, and that's something we seem to have forgotten in Western church culture. Let me put it to you in straight talk: we are not meant to dress, act, talk, dance, joke in any way that could be seen as a provocative sexual "come on." That is lasciviousness. When you're with your wife, go for it. That's pure. But around your children, or allowing your kids to act out, dress, or behave in a sexual manner, is not acceptable.

All children - boys and girls alike - need to be prepared for this challenge. There is a statistic to the effect that 45 percent of all pornography accessed on the Internet is viewed by women. It's hard to believe, but it points to a change in our society. I've seen this change myself, in what we do. The sexualization of our society has affected both genders. With so many sleazy messages around for our children to imbibe, it's important that Dad is always on approachable (and proactive) source of good, clean wisdom on the subject of sex. It is not your wife's job to have "the talk." Both your daughter and son need to get a balanced, wholesome male perspective as well.

4. Be a good role model.

Where there's no model, there's a vacuum, and it will be filled. When "moral America" was decrying Marilyn Manson for his satanic and aggressively vulgar music, he said something to the effect that "if you will not raise your children, I will." Powerful point. You have to be a role model for your children and you have to be a good one. The most powerful influences children will ever have are their parents. Please, don't choose to abrogate your responsibility by transferring it to the school, church, or sports coach. It's not their responsibility; it's yours.

5. Stay tuned in to their world.

Always be aware of what your children are feeding themselves - their music, their friends, their movies, their life. Go to a movie with them. Watch the cartoons on TV. Read a book before you let them read it. Listen to their music - stop, listen, and read the lyrics. If your child is depressed, it may be because they're listening to songs with suicidal lyrics. Find out what they're plugging into their ego. You'll have to take responsibility for setting limits on it, too. Control that stuff.

If ever there was a "home invader;" it's the TV. A parent said to me recently, "We have a television in all the bedrooms and our son always goes to sleep with it on - it's a great babysitter."