We've been blessed by the attitudes of our in-laws toward their relationships with us, and feel they have been very wise in their perspectives. Their thoughtfulness and maturity has all but eliminated a potential source of conflict in our marriage. We desire to adopt similar methods and attitudes with our own children and their spouses.

Discussion:

Read Matthew 19:4-6 and Ruth 2:10-12 (The entire book of Ruth is a wonderful study of in-law relationships.)

1. The Bible has many passages that refer to in-law relationships. Read the example concerning Simon's mother-in-law in Luke 4:38-39. What does this imply about Simon's relationship with his mother-in-law?

2. Read Matthew 10:34-36 and Luke 12:51-53. Jesus says that he has not come to bring peace, but to turn members of families against one another—including "a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law." What do you think this might mean? Have you seen examples of this in your own family or other families you know?

3. Have you struggled with your relationship with your in-laws? Has your spouse struggled with his or her relationship with your parents? Have you had conflict with the people your children chose to marry?

4. What is the source of those struggles? Competition for attention and affections? Envy? Pride? Disagreement on how life should be lived or how children should be raised?

5. Have you tried to be a peacemaker in your relationship with your in-laws? It's important to remember that all the Scriptures that apply to getting along with others also apply to getting along with in-laws. If there is strife in your relationship with in-laws, are you willing to take the first step toward reconciliation?

Make a list of the things you admire, respect and enjoy about your in-laws (either parents-in-law or children-in-law). Ask the Lord to help you concentrate on the positive aspects of their personalities and of your relationship with them.

Originally posted in March 2007.