According to Laura Petherbridge, speaker and author of When Your Marriage Dies (http://www.laurapetherbridge.com/), some ways to know when you’re ready to date include: being satisfied with singleness; not feeling an urgency to find a mate; looking to the future rather than living in the past; not dwelling on thoughts of your ex-spouse; and not trying to fill the gap of loneliness.

When you start dating, do not introduce your kids to that person until both of you are certain you will get married soon. Your kids will probably form an attachment to him or her and, if you break up, their hearts might get broken again

Learning to Forgive

You may be thinking, “Forgive my ex-spouse? Yeah, right.” God commands us to forgive, and he will give us the strength and desire to do so. As hard as it is, forgiving your ex-mate will free you to move on. It will help you heal. Letting go of anger and bitterness will improve your relationship with God and your kids, too. And if you’d like to marry again someday, it will help free up your heart to love again.

Taking Time for You

Trying to juggle the pressures and responsibilities of single parenting can be exhausting. Have some “me” time so the “us” time with your kids can be more relaxed and enjoyable.

Ask a friend to keep the kids for a few hours. Use your lunch break as a “me” break: visit a museum, go to the park, take a brisk walk. When your kids are with your ex-spouse, plan in advance to meet a friend for dinner or do something fun. Tackle that hobby you’ve always wanted to try.

Spending time with God regularly can give you the strength, wisdom, and courage to keep going. He can help you with these and other aspects of single parenting so you can raise healthy kids who love Him. That’s successful parenting.

This article first appeared in The Lookout, February 22, 2004. 

Freelance writer LeAnne Benfield Martin has been published in many Christian magazines. She enjoys writing about several topics, especially the arts. Check out her blog on Christians in the arts at http://christiansinthearts.blogspot.com/.