It’s natural to want to know the probable outcome before entering into a situation.  We want to be on the winning side of a sporting event, profitable in a financial decision, and successful in a relationship. Yet, a relationship is not a one-sided proposition.  It involves two people who share their hopes, dreams, desires, and then come together as one.

King Lemuel shares what a wife of noble character should be like in Proverbs 31:

• She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plan the day’s work (v 15).
• She goes out to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard (v 16).
• She is energetic and strong, a hard worker (v 17).
• She watches for bargains; her lights burn late into the night (v 18).
• Her hands are busy spinning thread, her fingers twisting fiber (v 19).
• She extends a helping hand to the poor and opens her arms to the needy (v 20).
• She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs with no fear of the future (v 25).
• When she speaks, her words are wise, and kindness is the rule when she gives instructions (v 26).
• She carefully watches all that goes on in her household and does not have to bear the consequences of laziness (v 27).

These are all traits that a person is not just born with; they are developed.  It takes time to learn and grow into a person of this kind of character.  These characteristics can be gained by being a working professional.

So what is an “appropriate way to ask someone (about working or staying at home) before getting involved”?  Try asking a string of questions about her siblings:

• Do you have brothers or sisters?
• What do they do for work?
• Do they have children?
• Do you have the opportunity to spend time with your nieces or nephews? 
• Do they attend public or private school?  Are they home-schooled?
• How do you feel about working and raising children?

To decide that a working professional would not be a woman who would want to curtail her career in order to raise a family is making a decision that is based upon appearance. 

 “Stop judging by mere appearances, and make a right judgment"  (John 7:24).

There have been many situations in my life that have turned out to be very different from what I had originally perceived them to be.  To make a conclusion about a person by observation alone may keep you from spending time with the very someone God has chosen for you.

SHE SAID:  There’s so much to say in response to this most excellent question.  So it’s a good thing I’m feeling a little verbose today.