More troubling than their divergent interests, however, is their lack of shared values.  Dan is committed to his faith while she wants nothing to do with church.  "I don't know why we're still together," he told us.  "I guess it's just nice to know there is someone there for you." 

Really?  It didn't sound like they were there for each other. Was Dan serious? Indeed, he was.  Like every other lonelyheart in a no-good dating relationship, Dan's only love was security. 

The human compulsion for security is stronger than a magnet.  It can play serious tricks on our faculties. And since we often don't like the anxiety that comes from making waves, we don't rock the boat.  We sit quietly in our relationship, going nowhere, drifting aimlessly when we should be making some tough decisions.

"I think when you first start dating" says comedian Jerry Seinfeld, "they ought to give you three 'Get Out of Relationship Free' cards."  If only it were that easy.

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