Imagine sailing with your spouse on a warm and sunny afternoon when suddenly black clouds race towards your boat. The waves kick up and a rain squall develops and you find yourself in the middle of a dangerous storm. Then, if the storm wasn’t bad enough, you and your spouse start arguing over who was to blame for the storm and what to do about it!

Sound foolish? You’d think that arguing would be the least effective way to fight the storm. Yet many couples – when storms buffet the home in the form of infertility, debt, rebellious teenagers, job loss, in-laws – respond by attacking each other rather than weathering the storm together.

Seasoned sailors expect storms – it’s not if they happen, it’s when. Likewise, we should expect to face trials in marriage. Instead of dividing us, storms should unite us. Here are four steps you can take to face and overcome trials in your marriage.

1.  Know That Every Christian Marriage Encounters Trials

When speaking of life’s trials, Peter said, “Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you” (1 Peter 4:12). Why is it we always seem surprised or caught off guard by trials? We say, “Why me? Why now?” Peter states that Christians should expect trials!

For Christian couples, such adversity provides yet another opportunity to experience oneness in marriage. Through trials, God can be moving us toward more intimacy – both with and Him and with each other.

2.  Be Quick to Recognize Trials

Many times couples think they have marital problems, but in reality are facing a trial. Trials produce a variety of symptoms and warning signals, such as inability to sleep, depression, argumentativeness, defensiveness, and health problems. They come from a variety of sources, such as people, work situations, sin, relatives, natural disasters, or Satan.