Power for love, joy and peace comes from the Holy Spirit.  In fact, love, joy, peace, patience and a host of other positive virtues are called the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22).  That is to say, just as the “fruit of the vine” is the fruit that the vine produces, the “fruit of the Spirit” is the fruit that the Spirit produces.  We need the Holy Spirit if we are to have lives – and therefore marriages! – characterized by love, joy and peace.  So how can we invite the Holy Spirit to produce His fruit in our lives?

Step One: Confess Known Sin

The Bible teaches that the Holy Spirit is not a force, but a person, and like any person He can be grieved.  This is clearly seen in Ephesians 4.  Right in the middle of commanding Christians not to speak unwholesome words and not to be bitter, angry and malicious people, Paul warns: “Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God …” (Ephesians 4:29).  In short, it is our sin and rebellion that grieves the Holy Spirit.  If we fail to confess and repent of sin, we cannot expect the Spirit to work in power in our lives and produce His holy fruit.

The first step to inviting the Holy Spirit to produce His fruit in our lives is to confess our sins to God and to repent of them.  Are there known sins in your life that you have not confessed to God or repented of?  As you consider this, remember God’s promise: “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).  When we confess our sins and turn from them, God will remove the guilt and filth of our sin completely: “As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us” (Psalm 103:12).  After confessing to God, we also need to consider whether this is a sin that we also need to confess and repent of before our spouse or another person.  Jesus said, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift” (Matthew 5:23-24).

Step Two: Surrender the Control of Your Life to God

The second step to inviting the Holy Spirit to produce His fruit in our lives is to surrender the control of our life to God.  That is to say, we must be willing to let His Spirit be the One who directs us and helps us to live in a way pleasing to God.  “But I say, walk by the Spirit and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh” (Galatians 5:16).  Notice that those who “walk by the Spirit” do “not carry out the desire of the flesh.”  But you and I must be willing to let the Spirit lead us in God’s holy paths.