• “All these are empowered by one and the same Spirit, who apportions to each one individually as he wills” (1 Cor 12:11);
• “To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good” (1 Cor 12:7). 

Given as God Wills

Let’s consider this first point. Do you see God’s will at work here?  Ultimately, we are single because that’s God’s will for us right now. That’s it. It’s not because we are too old, too fat, too skinny, too tall, too short, too quiet, too loud, too smart, too simple, too demanding, or too anything else. It’s not wholly because of past failures or sin tendencies. We are single today because God apportioned us this gift today. (If you are single again due to divorce or death, I realize it can be challenging to reconcile your current experience with the concept of a gift that God has allowed or even willed, but this is the testimony of Scripture. I trust the expanded definition of “gift” has helped you to understand better your current situation.)

Will we always be single? We can’t know. God’s will is revealed to us on a day-by-day basis. I know many single women who feel they need to know now if they will always remain single so that they can plan their lives accordingly. They see biblical womanhood coming to a fork in the road — one path for the terminally single, one path for the wife and mother. I will make a case in future columns, Lord willing, that this way of thinking is a worldly model and that the Bible presents women with a seamless model of femininity that easily transitions from one season to the next.

One more thought: I’ve often heard married people say to singles that we won’t get married until we’re content in our singleness, but I humbly submit this is error. I’m sure that it is offered by well-meaning couples who want to see their single friends happy and content in God’s provision, but it creates a works-based mentality to receiving gifts, which can lead to condemnation. The Lord doesn’t require that we attain a particular state before He grants a gift. We can’t earn any particular spiritual gift any more than we can earn our own salvation. It’s all of grace. However, we should humbly listen to our friends and receive their input about cultivating contentment; we just shouldn’t attach it to the expectation of a blessing.

Given for the Common Good

Now let’s look at the second point: Spiritual gifts are given for the common good, the implication being the local church. The good news here is that the singleness is not about you — either your good qualities or your sinful tendencies. You have a “gracious endowment” that is for the good of those around you! (So the next time someone asks you why you’re still single, you can reply with a straight face: “It’s for your own good!”)