One parent's idea of rebellion might be considered benign or even entertaining to another parent. Kids living out the normal nuances of childhood with the goofy ways they talk, dress, and act aren't necessarily rebelling. That is one of the key points I made in my book Grace-Based Parenting. Just because kids annoy us doesn't mean their actions are evil, nor does it necessarily indicate a deeper problem -- at least not with them. As we learned in that book, the problem might actually be with us.

And your children aren't rebelling just because they don't adhere to some superficial standard determined by a committee-of-one in a pulpit, or some busybody perched on one of the obscure limbs of your family tree.  There is no set biblical way for children to behave or dress or talk or play. God has called us to create an environment for our children where they can get a clear sense of the love, forgiveness, and grace of God. On top of that, He has given us the mandate to build qualities like respect, honor, decency, fairness, and modesty into the core of their character.

God allows children a lot of latitude in how they live out their personality type within the boundaries of these wonderful values. God is too much into original thoughts and ideas to create some mold that produces the "perfect Christian kid." He's also not the architect of any of the straitjacket models of parenting that float throughout the Christian movement. These arbitrary styles of parenting never have and never will pass the Bible's litmus test.

Some parents who are convinced their children are rebelling might be surprised to find out that God wouldn't agree with them. When parents compare what their children are actually doing with what the Bible really says children are to do, it could well be that their children aren't rebelling at all.  They are just great kids having a good time completely within God's moral boundaries, but not the way some onlookers think they should. Once again, my book Grace-Based Parenting helps parents filter out the strident voices around them, and figure out how to measure their children's progress by God's standards, not the opinions of others.

I know people who consider a teenage boy wearing his hat backward an act of rebellion. Let me add to this superficial list a sampling of other things I've heard over the years...

•  Kids who play a lot of video games
• Kids who listen to rap music
• Boys who wear their pants low
• Kids who don't say, "Yes, sir" or "No, sir," "Yes, ma'am," or "No, ma'am"
• Kids who do just about anything "different" with their hair -- especially boys
• Girls who have more than one piercing in a particular ear
• Girls who have their bellybuttons pierced
• Any older teenager with any kind of tattoo -- even a "Christian" one
• Kids who aren't excited about church services that are primarily geared to older adults