"What did he say?" Ron asked.

Earl said, "First, he X-rayed my feet and looked at the films. Then the doctor asked me, 'What size shoe do you wear?' I answered, 'Eleven.' Then the he said, 'No wonder your feet hurt, you should wear a size thirteen!'"

Earl shook his head as he told Ron, "I've been buying size eleven shoes since high school. It never occurred to me to measure my feet to see if they'd grown."

His shoes had been too small for years! His feet had changed, but he wasn't paying attention.

Have you measured your marriage lately?

It's easy to get complacent and just continue doing what we've always done. Since nothing ever stays the same, small changes can sneak up on us and cause some big problems.

Growing Pains

If you're struggling in your relationship and feel like you've grown apart from your spouse, today can be the day of new beginnings. I know how lonely, desperate, and exhausted you may feel, because I've felt that way. I was in a marriage full of emptiness. Ron and I were both selfish, angry, and critical; but we aren't anymore. Well . . . I'm still a little selfish, but mostly our lives are full of light and love -- and yours can be too. We admitted our faults, ask for forgiveness, changed our behavior and decided to love each other. Our feelings eventually caught up with our actions and we slowly grew a lovely "green grass" marriage in own backyard

We learned that fighting and blaming won't work. Commanding and demanding can't work. Surrender works .If you surrender your heart to the Lord, and ask Him to work in you and through you, He will accomplish more than you could ever do on your own.

Ron and I still don't agree on all issues, but since we've reached a compromise on most of the major ones; the minor ones -- like where to set the thermostat or which of us is a better driver (me) -- won't break us. We've learned to work together as a team, and that is our prayer for you.

"A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer." (Ecclesiastes 4:12a)


Adapted from Avoiding The Greener Grass Syndrome: How to Grow Affair-Proof Hedges Around your Marriage (Kregel 12/04)

Nancy C. Anderson and her husband of 26 years live in The O.C. with their teenage son, Nick. For information about her marriage book or having the Andersons speak at your couples' event, please visit: www.NancyCAnderson.com.