I began to understand that anything good in me was a result of God's loving work, not my own effort. Finally, my eyes fell upon the end of Chapter 3, where Paul prays that the people of Ephesus would grasp how wide, long, high, and deep Christ's love is so that they could be filled to the fullness of God. (See Ephesians 3:16-19) Wasn't that my desire—to be like God, filled up with Him so I could be patient and good? Wasn't the scripture saying that the way to do that was to discover the depth of Christ's love for me? In that moment I felt a whisper in my heart. "Paula," my Lord said, "all your life you've tried to be good. Get to know me and I will make you good."

The Lord is teaching me to let go of perfectionism. Showing me that the secret to the Christian life is a relationship with Him. Anytime I focus on my behavior and working harder, I've lost the battle. My focus should be on Christ and what He did at the cross. This journey is not about me. Christ is the One who is perfect. He's the author and perfecter of my life. (See Hebrews 12:2) He's the One who takes all my mistakes, sins, inadequacies, and failures and changes them into something beautiful. He's the One that replaced my old, messy human heart with His own perfect one. My job is to keep my eyes on Him.

I forgot this as I let guilt consume me with my children that day. After all, I have no greater desire than to see them walk a godly life, fully devoted to God's plan for them. In my zeal to create the perfect home, the perfect life, the perfect KIDS, I returned to the enemy's lies.

Praise God! The pressure is off. I can get out of the way and let the Holy Spirit bring conviction, love, and change in my children. I can remember that they, too, have sinful flesh which battles against the Spirit within. I can quit taking their faults upon myself and let God make us all vessels that will glorify Him.

Good-bye guilt. Good-bye perfectionism. Hello, Jesus!

A home schooling mother of four, Paula Moldenhauer is passionate about God's grace and intimacy with Jesus. Her website offers home schooling hints, book reviews, and a free weekly devotional, Soul Scents. Subscribe to Soul Scents at www.soulscents.us. You can contact Paula at Paula@soulscents.us. This article originally appeared in Christian Families Online: http://christianfamiliesministries.com