If only I could trust myself.

It was a wearisome journey. Eventually though, I came to see that I would have to surrender to the forgiveness in order to free myself from the prison. God and my husband had already given me the keys, but I had refused to use them. Finally, one day, I did.

I found victory through surrender as I prayed, "Lord, I give up. I cannot carry this anymore. I know that You have forgiven me and so has Ron, and today I choose to receive that forgiveness. Now I ask You for strength as I let go of the guilt, the shame, the sorrow, and I choose to walk toward Your light. You have set free, so I am free indeed." (John 8:36.)

I refused to entertain the stray thoughts anymore. Instead, I replaced them with images of the new life that Ron and I were building. I also discovered that encouraging others with our story of restoration gave a purpose to our pain. This summer, we will celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary and I'm thrilled to tell you that our marriage is strong, loving, and healed.

Adapted from  Avoiding the Greener Grass Syndrome: How to Grow Affair Proof Hedges Around Your Marriage (Kregel Publications, 2004).

Nancy C Anderson is an author and speaker who encourages couples to "fall in like" with each other. Nancy and Ron (her husband of 29 years) often speak at couples' banquets and retreats. They share their marriage testimony "The Death and Resurrection of our Marriage" and the Biblical principles of guarding our hearts and protecting our marriages. Visit their web site at www.RonAndNancyAnderson.com.