Praise Him in Uncertainty

Let me get personal here. Now that I’m 41 and still single, I see that I haven’t died of deferred hopes. Actually, life is pretty good. I would still like to be married, but this hope doesn’t consume me the way it used to. I am trusting that when I get to see the big picture from heaven’s viewpoint, I will agree that God’s plan for my life was the best, that the years I spent single were worth it for the ways God used me. If being single means that God is using me to reach many unbelievers, I know I’m not going to stand in heaven and resent His decision! There was a point in my early thirties, however, when you couldn’t have convinced me this would be the way I would feel now. I remember talking then to a single woman in her forties who told me it really wasn’t that bad to still be single. I just stared at her as she said those words. She might as well have been speaking a foreign language!

One thing I’ve learned to do is praise God in the middle of my dashed hopes. Years ago, when a hoped-for relationship wouldn’t happen or a friendship wouldn’t kindle into a romance, I would crash and burn emotionally. Sometimes it would take weeks to recover. But now I’ve learned something from the prophet Habakkuk and his closing psalm. He acknowledged the reality of suffering, but still aimed his emotions and will toward the One who is his salvation and strength. In recent years, I’ve trained myself to respond similarly. When I receive the disappointing news, I will retreat with a worship CD and sing with tears coursing down my cheeks — willing myself to praise the Lord in the midst of crushed hopes. I’ve learned to paraphrase Habakkuk 3:17-18 this way:

Though this friendship does not blossom,
nor love be in his heart,
though he chooses to pursue someone else,
and my prayers seem to go unanswered,
though others walk down the wedding aisle,
and I remain behind,
 yet I will rejoice in the LORD;
 I will take joy in the God of my salvation.

Carolyn McCulley is the media specialist for Sovereign Grace Ministries and is a member of Covenant Life Church in Gaithersburg, MD.  This column is adapted from her  book," Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? Trusting God with a Hope Deferred."  (Used by permission of Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton, IL 60187, www.gnpcb.org).  The heart of the book is really found in the subtitle, on which this and other columns have been based.  Carolyn welcomes your comments at info@carolynmcculley.com. Or visit her website at www.carolynmcculley.com.