These warning signs may indicate an affair:

1. Changing eating and sleeping patterns;

2. Wearing a different style of clothes;

3. Starting arguments or becoming very passive;

4. Working longer or different hours;

5. Pulling away from church and extended family;

6. Taking more showers than usual;

7. Comparing his or her spouse to other people;

8. Hiding credit card charges and cash withdrawals

9. Taking off his or her wedding ring.

10. Becoming secretive or defensive about phone calls and emails

You don't need to be paranoid or to see things that aren't there. I don't recommend that you spy on your spouse . . . but if you need to, feel free. It would be wise, however, to be on guard.

Guard Yourself

Affairs begin in many ways and for many reasons, so we must be always on guard for the slightest hint of temptation. Because hints turn into flirtations, flirtations turn into attractions, attractions turn into affairs, and affairs turn into disasters. 1st Corinthians 10:13 says that God will always provide a way of escape, but we have to make a decision to run toward the door.

When you're guarding your marriage, you're not guarding just your spouse, but guarding yourself too. I rationalized my way into a boatload of trouble because I thought; The rules don't apply to me. I've been to Bible College, I'm smart, I have self-control, and I can stop before it gets too far. All lies!

My affair began at work, so I'm an expert on workplace temptation. Once, the most common type of office infidelity was between male bosses and females who were lower-ranking employees, but that's changed in the last ten years. With more and more women working, the most common office affair is between coworkers. The man I had my affair with (Jake) was not my boss; we were both sales reps -- equals.

My relationship with Jake started innocently. I noticed that we laughed at the same things, and he noticed that we liked similar music, so we started to sit together at lunch. We were just friends . . . until we weren't.

I remember the first time we went out of the friendship zone and into the danger zone. We were sitting next to each other at a sales meeting when his leg brushed up against mine. I felt a spark at the contact point and was a bit disappointed when he pulled away. A few minutes later, he shifted slightly in his chair and his leg, from knee to thigh, pressed gently against mine. I liked it, and I didn't pull away.