• Prayer:  Take your petitions to God, for He’s the only one who can change a man’s heart, and this brings His peace to guard our own hearts.
• Pursuit:  It’s not our job as women. Instead, we should have the joy of being pursued.
• Prevent Disappointment:  Check yourself before you head down the slippery slope of desires, demands and expectations that Paul Tripp outlined. When you find your fist closing over good desires and making them demands, stop. Open that clenched fist and hold that desire up in prayer (see point one again).

We have to be very careful about guarding our own hearts. This is a wisdom issue. More importantly, it’s a worship issue. The real motivation for guarding our hearts is not to be able to hand our husbands a relatively unscathed heart on our wedding day, as important as that is. The real motivation for guarding our hearts is to preserve our trusting dependence on God with a peaceful spirit, whether we get married or not. It’s to keep a Scriptural imperative: “Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life” (Proverbs 4:23).

Carolyn McCulley handles church and ministry relations for Sovereign Grace Ministries and is a member of Covenant Life Church in Gaithersburg, MD.

This column is adapted from her book, "Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? Trusting God with a Hope Deferred." (Used by permission of Crossway Books, a division of Good News Publishers, Wheaton, IL 60187, www.gnpcb.org). Carolyn welcomes your comments at info@carolynmcculley.com. Or visit her website (www.carolynmcculley.com) or blog (solofemininity.blogs.com).