In His Word, God opens up a whole, new exciting world of parent-child relating. Verse after verse insists that Mom and Dad play an active and primary role in their children’s lives. Take Proverbs as an example. It fairly explodes with instructions to the son [and daughter] to "Hear . . . your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching" and to "receive [your parents’] words and treasure . . . [their] commandments" (Prov. 1:8; 2:1; 3:1; 4:1, 10, 20, etc.).
Author Paul Tripp comments, "God essentially says this: ‘I have designed the family to be my primary learning community. There is no better context to teach the truths that need to be taught so that my people would live the way they should live’"2 (emphasis added).
So classrooms, youth groups, and friends — though beneficial — are not the primary learning community. It is the family. It’s Dad, and it’s Mom. Why? Dr. Tripp goes on to explain: "Parents have unique opportunities to instruct their children, opportunities no one else will have, because parents live with them."3 God has set children up with the best possible help right in their own homes. And while Dad’s leadership role is essential in the family, we want to look at Mom’s role in this article.
God has chosen Mom to be our primary teacher, to be the foremost influence in our young lives. She possesses wisdom from God for us, and He has chosen her to impart the qualities of biblical womanhood.
When we pay close attention to our moms’ teaching, the Bible predicts a splendid outcome: ". . . for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you. . . . you will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man" (Prov. 3:2, 4). Following our mothers’ teaching will launch us into a lifetime of blessing and honor. What a sweet deal!
If you are reading carefully, you may notice who is not mentioned in any of these verses: substitute moms and peer relationships. Indeed, Proverbs often warns of the dangers of ungodly peer influence: "The companion of fools will suffer harm" (Prov. 13:20).
Now I am not advocating that you abandon all peer or other adult friendships. Godly relationships are gifts from our heavenly Father. A prudent mom will seek to position her daughter to benefit from the encouragement and example of other believers.
What if Your Mother is an Unhealthy Influence?
I also recognize that some young women may lack the spiritual guidance of a Christian mother. Maybe you’ve lost your mother, or maybe your mom is not a Christian or is an immature believer whom you can’t rely on for godly advice. You may find yourself discouraged as you read this; you wonder how you’ll ever learn to speak the language of biblical womanhood without a mother to teach you. But do not despair — you have not been left out.
