Some women don’t understand or appreciate masculinity given how an entire generation has been raised to be suspicious of men. Fathers must not allow this lack of appreciation of masculinity to be unleashed upon their sons. Fathers must not allow mothers to shame young boys for being boys.

CB:  Can you explain what you mean when you say that Christian men have it worse than non-Christian men when it comes to relationships at home and at work?

Coughlin:  Christian men are expected to be mild and amiable, though Jesus was far from mild and amiable. They aren’t expected to show much emotion either, especially passion, since the "ideal" Christian man is primarily stoic. This makes him emotionally unavailable, which statistically leads to divorce.

Christian men have heard countless sermons on what it means to be innocent as a dove, but very few on what it means to be wise as a serpent. Some translations say "cunning and shrewd as a serpent." As a result, they are ill-equipped to take on dishonest and deceptive forces at work. They are naïve, and we don’t respect naïve bosses, co-workers, husbands, or fathers.

They have been told for decades that personal integrity alone will help them succeed in life. This is naïve and detrimental both at home and at work. It goes against what Jesus told us.

CB:  Why do you argue that Christian men need a more flexible code of conduct?

Coughlin:  Because the current false expectation to be nice instead of good is filling them with smoldering resentment and anger. This damaging expectation goes against their masculine design. The Man Box must be expanded to include both tender and tough behavior – depending upon their circumstances.

This change will foster wider and more powerful expressions of love. Women and children will be happier and safer.

CB:  What are the common sources of passivity in our culture?

Coughlin:  There are three common sources:  A culture that at best is confused about masculinity – at worst vilifies it; a dangerous caricature of "gentle Jesus meek and mild" that is as fictitious as "The Da Vinci Code"; Childhood traumas that create fear and anxiety, which are brought into adulthood, often undetected.

CB:  You say that our culture is prejudiced against men. Give an example of what you mean by that.

Coughlin:  An American retailer has made a fortune selling a clothing line that demeans boys. It even encourages violence against them. His T-shirts read:  "Boys Are Stupid. Throw Rock at Them." No one in the major news media has denounced this work. Imagine if you changed just one word and made shirts that said girls, lesbians, Hispanics, even cats are stupid? The outcry would be tremendous. But it’s okay to demean boys. After all, they are men in the making, and men are what’s wrong with the world.