My job as their sister in the Lord is to encourage and support these men, not to categorize them and treat them as such. James 2:2-4 reveals our tendency to show partiality: “For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, ‘You sit here in a good place,’ while you say to the poor man, ‘You stand over there,’ or, ‘Sit down at my feet,’ have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?” 

My paraphrase is, “For if a fine-looking man without a wedding ring comes into your assembly, and an awkward, plainer man in outdated clothing also comes in, and if you pay attention to the good-looking man and say, ‘You sit here in a good place, right here by me, sweetie’ while you say nothing to or cut short the conversation with the less attractive man, have you not then made distinctions among them and become proud women with self-centered ambitions?”

We will stand out from our culture if we are consistently kind to everyone we meet, not just the Potentials. Not only that, we will stand out to a truly godly man who observes this impartial kindness in us. In doing so, we reflect our Savior. As J.C. Ryle once wrote in 1873:

“Jesus loved Martha, Mary, and Lazarus” (John 11:5). This verse teaches us that Christ loves all who are true Christians. The characters of these three people seem to have been somewhat different. Of Martha, we are told in a certain place, that she was “anxious and troubled about many things,” while Mary “sat at Jesus’ feet, and heard His word.” Of Lazarus we are told nothing distinctive at all. Yet all these were loved by the Lord Jesus. They all belonged to His family, and He loved them all.

We must carefully bear this in mind in forming our estimate of Christians. We must never forget that there are varieties in character, and that the grace of God does not cast all believers into one and the same mold. Admitting fully that the “foundations” of Christian character are always the same, and that all God’s children repent, believe, are holy, prayerful, and Scripture loving; we must make allowances for wide varieties in their temperaments and habits of mind. We must not undervalue others because they are not exactly like ourselves.      

The Lord’s Definition of Family

This generosity is not easy to cultivate, in my opinion. To grow in our sisterly affections, we must purposefully note and examine how we interact with our brothers. I didn’t grow up with natural brothers, so I’ve always thought of myself as hindered in this area.  But I don’t have to rely on my experience to shape this concept, for there is a Scripture passage I’ve found that’s concise and helpful for me. Matthew 12:46-50 says, “While he was still speaking to the people, behold, his mother and his brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him. But he replied to the man who told him, ‘Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?’  And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers!  For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother’” (emphasis added).