Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart, since you have been born again, not of perishable seed but of imperishable, through the living and abiding word of God; for

“All flesh is like grass and all its glory like the flower of grass.
The grass withers, and the flower falls,
but the word of the Lord remains forever.”

And this word is the good news that was preached to you. So put away all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander. Like newborn infants, long for the pure spiritual milk, that by it you may grow up to salvation – if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is good. (1 Peter 1:22-2:3, emphasis added).

As the apostle Paul writes in Titus, we were once enslaved to sins like envy. But then the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared! We were saved, not only from this miserable, sin-filled existence, but from the righteous wrath of God. And not only were we spared, we were made heirs according to the hope of eternal life. Heirs! We live as those who will one day inherit everything! So why do we resent when someone else receives some earthly trinket? (I am making an argument here, but I am not by extension calling marriage and family mere trinkets.) Knowing this, we are then freed to love one another earnestly. We don’t have to covet, envy, and resent what happens to us in this life. We have been set free from these passions because we have been born again of imperishable seed.

Knowing this, the apostle Peter tells us that we can put away envy. But I believe the analogy he employs here also reveals this is not a one-time action. It’s not like we can take off envy, put it in a drawer, and slam it shut — never to see it again. I believe this requires a process of maturity. We “grow up to salvation” by imbibing pure spiritual milk and realizing that we’ve tasted the Lord’s goodness in doing so. We have been born again (what theologians call justification) but we need to grow up to Christ-like maturity (sanctification).

This is the journey you’ve described in your question. I would encourage you, therefore, to press on. Continue to study these passages and let them settle into your soul — both the seriousness of envy and intense delight of being saved because of the loving kindness of the Lord. Seek not to graze at the tables that have been spread for others, but feed yourself spiritual milk, reminding yourself how much of the Lord’s goodness you have already tasted.

This will not only cultivate contentment as a single woman, it will serve you well in the future should the Lord bring you a husband and children. For even then, the flesh finds much to covet and envy in what others have in their husbands and children. Envy and covetousness are never satisfied with what we can possess in this life, for this life is passing away even as we gaze upon it. But, thanks be to God, we are heirs of the imperishable!

Carolyn McCulley is the author of  "Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? Trusting God with a Hope Deferred" (Crossway) and a contributor to  "Sex and the Supremacy of Christ" (edited by John Piper and Justin Taylor).  She also blogs at http://solofemininity.blogs.com, when she’s not working for  Sovereign Grace Ministries. I f you have any questions or  comments, email Carolyn at info@carolynmcculley.com.

Your questions answered!  Carolyn will periodically answer Crosswalk.com reader questions in her Singles Q&A columns.  While we can't guarantee that each question will be answered, we do hope to hear from you!  Please send your questions regarding singleness and related topics to Carolyn at info@carolynmcculley.com.